From: 8776010995@skytel.com
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 18:49:42 CDT
To: cubstryper@yahoo.com
he threatened to break off my ankles if i talk to you again. he forced me to phone you . i'm sorry. :Spencer -gerry spencer
------------
From: 8776010995@skytel.com
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 23:59:42 CDT
To: cubstryper@yahoo.com
he is gone and my heart is broken. I think his too.:Spencer -gerry spencer
Monday, August 26, 2002
Sunday, August 25, 2002
Date: Sun, 25 Aug 2002 15:14:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Steven Rhodes
Subject: ~Dreamscapes and Prophecies
To: Spencer
Hello My Spencer,
. . . Had another epic dream, last night, I felt I needed to share with you, since I was worried about you, when I went to bed, last night. You were utmost in my prayers, and as it turns out, in my dreams.
It was the most profound dream, yet, and I awoke after only two hours of sleep, to write it down. This one was unique in two ways. One, it happened at the beginning of my night's sleep, and Two, it contained some of the most prophetic and clear messages, to date. When I awoke from it, I grabbed hold of my Bible, which I went to sleep, holding, and opened it up at random, and it just happened to open up to Isaiah 61 - which I'll quote, at the end. . .
. . . Here is the dream . . . (in four parts:)
Part I: There were two of us. We were waiting to go to work one afternoon. We were farmers. Our dad had gone into the fields ahead of us, to "clean" them. We were to follow him, but we weren't sure where he was, nor into which field he had gone.
We would go in and harvest, after him. We looked, and the fields had been subdivided. They had been divided into thirds. And those thirds were further divided into triangles. They fit together, two on the end, and one in the middle, forming rectangles.
Part II: While we were waiting, I went up to a concert arena. I went to buy a ticket. Wasn't sure who was playing, but I told the girl at the ticket office it was the "Big Name". There were only a few tickets left, on either the 9th or 19th or 28th - (not sure if those were rows, or dates.) She was not laughing. No sense of humor. It was as if she was part of some important operation. Anyway, I got my ticket and went into the arena.
Suddenly, I was talking with some kind of church group. I was to lead the music for their praise and worship group - helping them rehearse. There was a piano and a familiar group waiting for my special style of music.
Someone was angry with me for not being prepared the way THEY wanted it to be performed. I stood in front of the congregation, as some sort of prophet, or a leader, and explained to them about how and why it had to be done this way - sort of "enlightened" them, so they could understand my vision. There was only one "right way". I held my position and was very emphatic about it.
Part III: Next we were in a P.O.W camp. Some boy was trying to escape - was being "rescued" by some people from above, pulling him up by a rope. He was rising up a very tall distance through an opening in the roof. The guards were fast approaching. He made it to the top and safely out. I recognized him from somewhere. He made it out, as well as one other person, both to safety. But there were more guards (evil) waiting for both of them (us.) They were easily re-captured. The one boy was forced down into the "splits" - one leg out in front, the other behind, into a sitting position - locked all the way down. He was then pushed forward into a corner - where he was to await his punishment. They did the same to the other person (maybe myself, or another, not sure.)
Part IV: Just then a new character arrived on the scene. Sort of like a gun-totin' cowboy dude - a gigantic man (a giant) - wearing a black hat and shirt and chaps. His hands were steadied over his pistols, as he rode into town on his motorcycle. Everyone was sure to stay out of his way. He was the biggest, baddest cowboy of them all. He was there for a reason - to eliminate the bad guy(s) once and for all. He was many, many times bigger and more powerful, than all the rest. We were all relieved that he was about to clean up this town, once and for all. We felt safe, knowing he was here. Secure. Healthy. Strong. Peaceful.
Then I woke up. I felt as if I had been on a strange journey to a very dangerous and unsettling place, where I could "see" all this happening from above - sort of transported. It felt as if I was alone there, but, I was aware that I was in a protective shield of some sort. It would have been too dangerous for me to go in there and "see" this knowledge, outside of this shield. But, I had been protected by this "force" or "power", I could neither see nor hear. I just "went" with it - whatever "it" was. I was then brought back home. Woke up - very alarmed and disturbed!
Like I said, earlier, I opened up my Bible, I had been hugging onto . . . to Isaiah 61 . . . And this is the part that really freaked me out:
"The Spirit of the Lord God IS upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.
To proclaim the acceptable year to the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn.
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, (Note: The next part is a popular praise and worship song, we used to do almost every Sunday, coincidentally:)
- To give them beauty for ashes,
- the oil of joy for mourning.
- the garment of praise
- for the spirit of heaviness.
- that they might be called
- Trees of righteousness,
- the planting of the Lord,
that he might be glorified. (End of song) continuing with passage . . .
AND they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.
And strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, and the sons of the alien SHALL BE your plowmen and your vinedressers.
But ye shall be named the Priests of the Lord; MEN shall call you the Ministers of our God; ye shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, and in their glory shall ye boast yourselves.
7.) For your shame ye shall have DOUBLE; and FOR confusion they shall rejoice in their portion; therefor in their land they shall posess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them.
8.) For I the Lord love judgement, I hate robbery for burnt offering, and I will direct their work in truth, and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.
9.) AND their seed shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people; all that see them shall acknowledge them and they ARE the seed WHICH the Lord hath blessed.
10.) I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me WITH the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh HIMSELF with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with jewels.
11.) For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the garden causeth the things that are sown into it to spring forth; so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.
The dream fortold of: 1.) the sowing in the field; 2.) the Praise and Worship song being Priests Ministering the Word; 3.) the prison opening to them that are bound, and proclaiming liberty to the captives; 4.) the gun-slinging giant - or the day of Vengeance to comfort all that mourn.
I was just astonished how all four parts of the dream were right in sync with the Passages. I don't pretend to understand all this - I am just the messenger, here. I wrote it down, word for word, as it happened, so I wouldn't forget. Nor alter.
I feel a real danger coming from your end. I felt very afraid to call or make plans with you, Sunday (today,) after I had previously written you on Friday. Just so you know why I didn't call.
Then, this afternoon, I received a threatening message from Joe - on my machine. I don't know why he is threatening me, out of the blue, like that. I haven't spoken with him since the Mozart concert, nor with you, since the Sunday before I left on vacation. I am going to call the Police and report it, though. As soon as I get home, tonight. I think he is seriously dangerous, and there is no telling where his violent, schizophrenic behavior will end up.
I am holding onto your postcard, by the way. I thought it might trigger a violent reaction, if he saw a letter from me, when I heard he was still there. I will just give it to you in person, when I see you. Will you please call me this week, and let me know how you are, and what the H@#$ is going on. I worry for you, like I have never worried, before. And I am afraid to come around, now, because of his violent behavior. I left my car battery charger in the rental car - (for the cell phone) accidentally - so didn't turn on cell phone earlier in day, to conserve the battery.
I feel our time is short, together, as I mentioned before. I have just submitted my resume to BayRecruiters.com - looking for a job out in the SF area. It may take a couple years at most, to fully relocate, but I have picked out where I want to go, and the details are miraculously falling into place. I will explain, in person. Great things are happening, and cannot wait to tell you all about it. Was hoping to get with you, today, but then, the thing with Junior really has me alarmed.
- The greatest Love for You, humanly possible, and THEN some . . .
- Your Steveman MSM
From: Steven Rhodes
Subject: ~Dreamscapes and Prophecies
To: Spencer
Hello My Spencer,
. . . Had another epic dream, last night, I felt I needed to share with you, since I was worried about you, when I went to bed, last night. You were utmost in my prayers, and as it turns out, in my dreams.
It was the most profound dream, yet, and I awoke after only two hours of sleep, to write it down. This one was unique in two ways. One, it happened at the beginning of my night's sleep, and Two, it contained some of the most prophetic and clear messages, to date. When I awoke from it, I grabbed hold of my Bible, which I went to sleep, holding, and opened it up at random, and it just happened to open up to Isaiah 61 - which I'll quote, at the end. . .
. . . Here is the dream . . . (in four parts:)
Part I: There were two of us. We were waiting to go to work one afternoon. We were farmers. Our dad had gone into the fields ahead of us, to "clean" them. We were to follow him, but we weren't sure where he was, nor into which field he had gone.
We would go in and harvest, after him. We looked, and the fields had been subdivided. They had been divided into thirds. And those thirds were further divided into triangles. They fit together, two on the end, and one in the middle, forming rectangles.
Part II: While we were waiting, I went up to a concert arena. I went to buy a ticket. Wasn't sure who was playing, but I told the girl at the ticket office it was the "Big Name". There were only a few tickets left, on either the 9th or 19th or 28th - (not sure if those were rows, or dates.) She was not laughing. No sense of humor. It was as if she was part of some important operation. Anyway, I got my ticket and went into the arena.
Suddenly, I was talking with some kind of church group. I was to lead the music for their praise and worship group - helping them rehearse. There was a piano and a familiar group waiting for my special style of music.
Someone was angry with me for not being prepared the way THEY wanted it to be performed. I stood in front of the congregation, as some sort of prophet, or a leader, and explained to them about how and why it had to be done this way - sort of "enlightened" them, so they could understand my vision. There was only one "right way". I held my position and was very emphatic about it.
Part III: Next we were in a P.O.W camp. Some boy was trying to escape - was being "rescued" by some people from above, pulling him up by a rope. He was rising up a very tall distance through an opening in the roof. The guards were fast approaching. He made it to the top and safely out. I recognized him from somewhere. He made it out, as well as one other person, both to safety. But there were more guards (evil) waiting for both of them (us.) They were easily re-captured. The one boy was forced down into the "splits" - one leg out in front, the other behind, into a sitting position - locked all the way down. He was then pushed forward into a corner - where he was to await his punishment. They did the same to the other person (maybe myself, or another, not sure.)
Part IV: Just then a new character arrived on the scene. Sort of like a gun-totin' cowboy dude - a gigantic man (a giant) - wearing a black hat and shirt and chaps. His hands were steadied over his pistols, as he rode into town on his motorcycle. Everyone was sure to stay out of his way. He was the biggest, baddest cowboy of them all. He was there for a reason - to eliminate the bad guy(s) once and for all. He was many, many times bigger and more powerful, than all the rest. We were all relieved that he was about to clean up this town, once and for all. We felt safe, knowing he was here. Secure. Healthy. Strong. Peaceful.
Then I woke up. I felt as if I had been on a strange journey to a very dangerous and unsettling place, where I could "see" all this happening from above - sort of transported. It felt as if I was alone there, but, I was aware that I was in a protective shield of some sort. It would have been too dangerous for me to go in there and "see" this knowledge, outside of this shield. But, I had been protected by this "force" or "power", I could neither see nor hear. I just "went" with it - whatever "it" was. I was then brought back home. Woke up - very alarmed and disturbed!
Like I said, earlier, I opened up my Bible, I had been hugging onto . . . to Isaiah 61 . . . And this is the part that really freaked me out:
"The Spirit of the Lord God IS upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.
To proclaim the acceptable year to the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn.
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, (Note: The next part is a popular praise and worship song, we used to do almost every Sunday, coincidentally:)
- To give them beauty for ashes,
- the oil of joy for mourning.
- the garment of praise
- for the spirit of heaviness.
- that they might be called
- Trees of righteousness,
- the planting of the Lord,
that he might be glorified. (End of song) continuing with passage . . .
AND they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.
And strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, and the sons of the alien SHALL BE your plowmen and your vinedressers.
But ye shall be named the Priests of the Lord; MEN shall call you the Ministers of our God; ye shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, and in their glory shall ye boast yourselves.
7.) For your shame ye shall have DOUBLE; and FOR confusion they shall rejoice in their portion; therefor in their land they shall posess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them.
8.) For I the Lord love judgement, I hate robbery for burnt offering, and I will direct their work in truth, and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.
9.) AND their seed shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people; all that see them shall acknowledge them and they ARE the seed WHICH the Lord hath blessed.
10.) I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me WITH the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh HIMSELF with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with jewels.
11.) For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the garden causeth the things that are sown into it to spring forth; so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.
The dream fortold of: 1.) the sowing in the field; 2.) the Praise and Worship song being Priests Ministering the Word; 3.) the prison opening to them that are bound, and proclaiming liberty to the captives; 4.) the gun-slinging giant - or the day of Vengeance to comfort all that mourn.
I was just astonished how all four parts of the dream were right in sync with the Passages. I don't pretend to understand all this - I am just the messenger, here. I wrote it down, word for word, as it happened, so I wouldn't forget. Nor alter.
I feel a real danger coming from your end. I felt very afraid to call or make plans with you, Sunday (today,) after I had previously written you on Friday. Just so you know why I didn't call.
Then, this afternoon, I received a threatening message from Joe - on my machine. I don't know why he is threatening me, out of the blue, like that. I haven't spoken with him since the Mozart concert, nor with you, since the Sunday before I left on vacation. I am going to call the Police and report it, though. As soon as I get home, tonight. I think he is seriously dangerous, and there is no telling where his violent, schizophrenic behavior will end up.
I am holding onto your postcard, by the way. I thought it might trigger a violent reaction, if he saw a letter from me, when I heard he was still there. I will just give it to you in person, when I see you. Will you please call me this week, and let me know how you are, and what the H@#$ is going on. I worry for you, like I have never worried, before. And I am afraid to come around, now, because of his violent behavior. I left my car battery charger in the rental car - (for the cell phone) accidentally - so didn't turn on cell phone earlier in day, to conserve the battery.
I feel our time is short, together, as I mentioned before. I have just submitted my resume to BayRecruiters.com - looking for a job out in the SF area. It may take a couple years at most, to fully relocate, but I have picked out where I want to go, and the details are miraculously falling into place. I will explain, in person. Great things are happening, and cannot wait to tell you all about it. Was hoping to get with you, today, but then, the thing with Junior really has me alarmed.
- The greatest Love for You, humanly possible, and THEN some . . .
- Your Steveman MSM
Friday, August 09, 2002
Love vs Loneliness . . .
Date: Fri, 9 Aug 2002
"Spencer, Gerald" wrote:
. . . lasting regressions? Heartache by the number.
MySteveMan,
yes, a breakdown, a meltdown at seeing yet another sign of a life out of sorts, drifting. Wanted yet unwanted hopes dashed. Love hurts, so who wants it? if it means no hurt but loneliness is pain as well. Loneliness and depression go together; love and agony go together; I don't know which is worse. I want to say love and agony are worse
Date: Fri, 9 Aug 2002
"Spencer, Gerald" wrote:
. . . lasting regressions? Heartache by the number.
MySteveMan,
yes, a breakdown, a meltdown at seeing yet another sign of a life out of sorts, drifting. Wanted yet unwanted hopes dashed. Love hurts, so who wants it? if it means no hurt but loneliness is pain as well. Loneliness and depression go together; love and agony go together; I don't know which is worse. I want to say love and agony are worse
From: Steven Rhodes [mailto:cubstryper@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, August 09, 2002 8:40 AM
To: Spencer, Gerald
Subject: Re: Lasting Impressions
Good Morning My Spencer,
I remember once, meeting my "dream" match. It was shortly after I moved back to Chicago, from the turbulent Belinda years. We had several phone conversations - all lengthy - before meeting. We agreed to meet for lunch, one Summer day.
He came by to pick me up - apologizing for both the Rolls(es) being in the shop, the Caddy was his work car. He was handsome. He was dashing. He was English. Office on LSD - Real Estate and Law - (son or grandson of a Nobleman - who founded the Boy Souts of America.)
We were both seeing stars. I could feel it. I could see he felt it. We sat close to each other on the way to Lunch. All during Lunch. Talking of past relationships, work stories, family, many good topics. We were so different. Yet, we found the common thread in each topic, and laughed and had fun, all thru the course of the afternoon.
A perfect gentleman, he dropped me off, we kissed goodbye, and I got out of the car, and went back up to my apartment, alone. Probably to drink. Drown my sorrows. Drown my feelings. I never called him back. He never called me. The possibility of rejection, overwhelmed me, so I remained isolated. Remained safe.
I wanted to remember him, just the way he was. You see, he had already "become". I was barely even "born". I knew I had a WAYS to go, many, many issues to resolve. Many lessons to learn. Many people to meet. People who would bring enlightenment. Encouragement. Hope. Knowledge.
Different people would bring different gifts, over the years. Helping me to "become". Never took on a lover, in all that time, tho. There were many proposals. Many friends. A few playmates. But NO one I would be able to live with. No one I trusted that much. Except for potentially, that one Englishman. And that, based only on a few conversations, and one date.
I suspect it is the same with Junior. He has barely been "born". Many people to meet. Many lessons to learn. Life will happen. His Destiny is not here. This was only a stop for "food". A banquet, at that! I am all the wiser for having met him. All the stronger. I hope you can say the same.
Sent: Friday, August 09, 2002 8:40 AM
To: Spencer, Gerald
Subject: Re: Lasting Impressions
Good Morning My Spencer,
I remember once, meeting my "dream" match. It was shortly after I moved back to Chicago, from the turbulent Belinda years. We had several phone conversations - all lengthy - before meeting. We agreed to meet for lunch, one Summer day.
He came by to pick me up - apologizing for both the Rolls(es) being in the shop, the Caddy was his work car. He was handsome. He was dashing. He was English. Office on LSD - Real Estate and Law - (son or grandson of a Nobleman - who founded the Boy Souts of America.)
We were both seeing stars. I could feel it. I could see he felt it. We sat close to each other on the way to Lunch. All during Lunch. Talking of past relationships, work stories, family, many good topics. We were so different. Yet, we found the common thread in each topic, and laughed and had fun, all thru the course of the afternoon.
A perfect gentleman, he dropped me off, we kissed goodbye, and I got out of the car, and went back up to my apartment, alone. Probably to drink. Drown my sorrows. Drown my feelings. I never called him back. He never called me. The possibility of rejection, overwhelmed me, so I remained isolated. Remained safe.
I wanted to remember him, just the way he was. You see, he had already "become". I was barely even "born". I knew I had a WAYS to go, many, many issues to resolve. Many lessons to learn. Many people to meet. People who would bring enlightenment. Encouragement. Hope. Knowledge.
Different people would bring different gifts, over the years. Helping me to "become". Never took on a lover, in all that time, tho. There were many proposals. Many friends. A few playmates. But NO one I would be able to live with. No one I trusted that much. Except for potentially, that one Englishman. And that, based only on a few conversations, and one date.
I suspect it is the same with Junior. He has barely been "born". Many people to meet. Many lessons to learn. Life will happen. His Destiny is not here. This was only a stop for "food". A banquet, at that! I am all the wiser for having met him. All the stronger. I hope you can say the same.
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
Hostage Crises on Huron
Date: Wed, 7 Aug 2002 17:26:20 -0700 (PDT
8776010995@skytel.com wrote:
i am at starbucks now for 2.5 hours waiting for junior . he [Junior]said he will come . i call each hour , he is home , now he says no. i need to get him out and to meet me. it is a little thing i need i ask of his love. i will not go home without it . i cannot. call my cell please .SOS Love Spencer & -gerry spencer
-----------------
Date: Wed, 7 Aug 2002 17:26:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Steven Rhodes
Subject: Re: R U OK?
To: 8776010995@skytel.com
Is everything OKAY? What did I have for dessert? What did I tell the old lady at lunch? - MSM
-------------------
From: 8776010995@skytel.com
Date: Wed, 07 Aug 2002 19:48:27 CDT
To: cubstryper@yahoo.com
- ok. cookies&cream ice cream certainly no problem. -gerry
---------------
From: geraldsp [mailto:gspencer@idolo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 08, 2002 4:35 PM
To: 'cubstryper@yahoo.com'
Subject: Occasions . . .
. . . Of less comfort.
Phone line: use 312-944-2129 for phone calls, I took the phones off of
312-944-2123.
Date: Wed, 7 Aug 2002 17:26:20 -0700 (PDT
8776010995@skytel.com wrote:
i am at starbucks now for 2.5 hours waiting for junior . he [Junior]said he will come . i call each hour , he is home , now he says no. i need to get him out and to meet me. it is a little thing i need i ask of his love. i will not go home without it . i cannot. call my cell please .SOS Love Spencer & -gerry spencer
-----------------
Date: Wed, 7 Aug 2002 17:26:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Steven Rhodes
Subject: Re: R U OK?
To: 8776010995@skytel.com
Is everything OKAY? What did I have for dessert? What did I tell the old lady at lunch? - MSM
-------------------
From: 8776010995@skytel.com
Date: Wed, 07 Aug 2002 19:48:27 CDT
To: cubstryper@yahoo.com
- ok. cookies&cream ice cream certainly no problem. -gerry
---------------
From: geraldsp [mailto:gspencer@idolo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 08, 2002 4:35 PM
To: 'cubstryper@yahoo.com'
Subject: Occasions . . .
. . . Of less comfort.
Phone line: use 312-944-2129 for phone calls, I took the phones off of
312-944-2123.
Friday, August 02, 2002
After the "Bashing"To: "Steven Rhodes"
Subject: critical mass then . . . Date: Fri, 2 Aug 2002 18:37:59 -0500
. . . meltdown. Mine, yours, his?
MySteveMan:
Thank you for being there for me. It meant my whole world to me. You realize that don't you? You mentioned Edward, NATO officer. Big Burly Buff, "was it the same?" In a way, yes, well actually, yes; not in a way. I did not love him. He also did not live with me. 2 Major differences - get that? Major, it is what Edward left as. Met him as a captain he got promoted to major before he really bashed me and never returned.
I truly wish I could talk with Juan Carlos again. We are both in such different places any more. Fernando says I could always come there and live at the estate if I ever need to hide out. I think he knew that even if Juan Carlos did not like what I wrote in the book he would be there for me to help save me again.
The next large neighboring estate belongs to his family. I never imagined I'd consider that in light of Junior. Okay, I knew the trip [to Yosemite with us] would have to be "off". I knew that a while back. Definitely since this weeks events. The e-tickets are still yours [Spencer put on his credit card] and Richards [the "Mayor"] (if he adjusted his - I hope so because by now it may be too late).
Junior now has to study for his written license test, pass that, get behind the wheel of someone's car and get through the behind the wheel test. You did the insurance thing, I do not know how long that is good, his tickets are paid. He is clear to try for the driver's license. He opted for leaving the gold at the pawn and opted for not paying his mother the phone bill. He believes his getting the license back on his own was more important. Not a surprise to me, other than a larger stress on my screwed up finances than I expected this week.
He plans to work tomorrow, and Monday. Early this afternoon he got a call from Bradtke, I was there. I heard the conversation. I pray it is true. I do not wish you to worry about being alone here or at your place with Junior. I will not put you in that position. He may however ask you to go with him for his behind the wheel test whenever that is. He thought about knowing someone else with a car and believed he could get them to do it.
You may be in the clear for that. As long as you are not around or near him when he is drinking - or worse, taking drugs and drinking. He says no more alcohol, he also said no more fights and no more drugs. I am bringing no alcohol here or keeping any here. Everything is gone. I had no idea, just none whatsoever. Sigh.
You know how deep my love goes for people, you, him, many others. I cannot ask Nathan to the mixer tomorrow. I do not wish to jeopardize his safety, I love him more than that.
It is the weekend, yes, I almost rather it were still the workweek. All the things you wrote in the list are true. Keep busy, get him working, keep him going towards real goals, get the appointment and the help. God help all of us. > >Love >:Spencer >R6
Subject: critical mass then . . . Date: Fri, 2 Aug 2002 18:37:59 -0500
. . . meltdown. Mine, yours, his?
MySteveMan:
Thank you for being there for me. It meant my whole world to me. You realize that don't you? You mentioned Edward, NATO officer. Big Burly Buff, "was it the same?" In a way, yes, well actually, yes; not in a way. I did not love him. He also did not live with me. 2 Major differences - get that? Major, it is what Edward left as. Met him as a captain he got promoted to major before he really bashed me and never returned.
I truly wish I could talk with Juan Carlos again. We are both in such different places any more. Fernando says I could always come there and live at the estate if I ever need to hide out. I think he knew that even if Juan Carlos did not like what I wrote in the book he would be there for me to help save me again.
The next large neighboring estate belongs to his family. I never imagined I'd consider that in light of Junior. Okay, I knew the trip [to Yosemite with us] would have to be "off". I knew that a while back. Definitely since this weeks events. The e-tickets are still yours [Spencer put on his credit card] and Richards [the "Mayor"] (if he adjusted his - I hope so because by now it may be too late).
Junior now has to study for his written license test, pass that, get behind the wheel of someone's car and get through the behind the wheel test. You did the insurance thing, I do not know how long that is good, his tickets are paid. He is clear to try for the driver's license. He opted for leaving the gold at the pawn and opted for not paying his mother the phone bill. He believes his getting the license back on his own was more important. Not a surprise to me, other than a larger stress on my screwed up finances than I expected this week.
He plans to work tomorrow, and Monday. Early this afternoon he got a call from Bradtke, I was there. I heard the conversation. I pray it is true. I do not wish you to worry about being alone here or at your place with Junior. I will not put you in that position. He may however ask you to go with him for his behind the wheel test whenever that is. He thought about knowing someone else with a car and believed he could get them to do it.
You may be in the clear for that. As long as you are not around or near him when he is drinking - or worse, taking drugs and drinking. He says no more alcohol, he also said no more fights and no more drugs. I am bringing no alcohol here or keeping any here. Everything is gone. I had no idea, just none whatsoever. Sigh.
You know how deep my love goes for people, you, him, many others. I cannot ask Nathan to the mixer tomorrow. I do not wish to jeopardize his safety, I love him more than that.
It is the weekend, yes, I almost rather it were still the workweek. All the things you wrote in the list are true. Keep busy, get him working, keep him going towards real goals, get the appointment and the help. God help all of us. > >Love >:Spencer >R6
Thursday, August 01, 2002
The "Bashing" by JuniorFrom: "gspencer"
To: "Steven Rhodes"
Subject: Yes, all good ideas . . .
Date: Thu, 1 Aug 2002 19:59:47 -0500
Thank you again for the help. I may have walked somewhere yesterday that I would not really wish to if you had not called and had not shown up to help me, to save me. Talk soon
>Muchos todos
>:Spencer
>R6
To: "Steven Rhodes"
Subject: Yes, all good ideas . . .
Date: Thu, 1 Aug 2002 19:59:47 -0500
Thank you again for the help. I may have walked somewhere yesterday that I would not really wish to if you had not called and had not shown up to help me, to save me. Talk soon
>Muchos todos
>:Spencer
>R6
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