Date: Fri, 12 Jul 2002 14:33:01 -0700 (PDT)
EMAIL:
INRE: Joe's first day - and Roadtrip
Letter to Karol . . . .
Hello, Karol, Love,
Just got back from a much needed road trip - still kind of in a daze. Spencer and I took our greek god-son down to Southern Ill. to visit my mom, spent the night, Monday, then drove over to Southern Indiana to meet Joe's family, and pick up some paperwork, his mom had for him. Everything went like clockwork, on schedule, no problems, and got back home, safely, last night - had a wonderful time. This day trip is sort of a continuation of the original Monday story . . . it HAS been a whirlwind~! . . .
. . . Where were we . . . oh, yes - Spencer, Joe and I had just finished having our first Dinner all-together at Swillers - looked up and it was dark - three hours had just slipped by, as if they were seconds! . . . We couldn't stop there - so we gathered our things, and walked over to a coffee shop, just down the street, and managed to get three prime seats, outdoors, many people to watch in the Streeterville area, - and continued our wonderful chance-meeting, earlier in the afternoon, (Joe and I). (During the time I was to be on the phone with you, btw.)
Spencer and I went inside the cafe, and ordered our coffees, while Joe watched our seats. We picked up our drinks at the counter, and were adding our sugar/cream, etc. which was at the window, right in front of where Joe was sitting, and as I looked out at him, (he was unable to see us) - I could see the pain and the hurt underneath his _expression. It was just the saddest thing I could ever describe. Spencer and I just about "lost" it, right there in the coffee shop - when I reached over and whispered to him, what I saw. That vision has etched a permanent place in my soul, and I shall never be able to forget it.
So, we brought out our coffees and deserts to place before our boi, bringing the sparkle back to his weary eyes, - and spent at least another two hours telling stories, reading passages from Spencerer's book, laughing, and forgetting time, while Joe recited two poems and a rap song he had written!
We left the coffee shop, and I asked Joe to come back and spend the night, so he would not be on the street, alone, or as a "pick-up" from some stranger. We all walked over to the subway, Spencer slipped me $100 to help get the boi home to his parents, or wherever he needed to go, and we boarded the train, waving goodbye (to Spencer), and left for my house.
I have never enjoyed a train ride, as much as that night! I could not keep my eyes off him, and vice versa. We laughed and joked around, the entire way. Got back home, and spent at least two more hours talking - finally got him to relax and lay back in my arms, and his body melted like warm butter into mine. We spent at least another two hours just caressing and fooling around, etc., (safe sex) before finally cuddling up in bed for the night. (Actually the morning!)
The next day, Joe had managed to wake up early, with no alarm clock - went to court (misdemeanor charge) - and had his charge dropped, just as he said it would. He had three job interviews, and followed up on a contracting job, thru my friend ("the Mayor), that very afternoon. I took him over to try and retrieve some of his things, but was unsuccessful. His boots were among the posessions he had lost, and without them, his boss wouldn't permit him to come back to work. (He was looking for a homeless shelter, that Monday, when I met him, and had just lost his job, on top of that.)
Well, Wednsesday rolled around, and he wanted to go out with one of his friends, who had helped him with a place to stay, before, (I had met him on Tuesday - a black guy who works as a nurse at one of the rehab hospitals, just up the street from me.) They wanted me to meet them at 6pm, at the bar where his friend hangs out, which I did. Then, we were to go to Navy Pier for the big fireworks display (3rd of July!)
As they were leaving the bar, his friend, (Louie) - saw an old man who could barely walk, and went over to help him. His back had gone out on him, and he was drunk, no less! Louie (still wearing his green nurse's scrubs from work,) asked me if I would mind giving him a ride home, just around the corner. (Something neither Joe nor I would have done, btw.) Well, as Joe and Louie were helping him around to put him in my truck, Joe's wallet fell out on the ground, somewhere, unbeknownst to us, and we were already down the street, when he noticed it! We rushed back, but it was no longer there. (Or the old man could have lifted it, we just will never know!) That wallet was the only thing Joe had left in this world - the $120 from the contracting job he had just started, his ID, his SS card, and his birth cert.
Well, we had a pretty intense scene, there, with Joe's spirit, absolutely broken, in tears, shaking, and destitute. My heart just broke. His life, already broken. Louie and I sat with him, dabbed at his tears, and talked him down, comforted him for about an hour. We then took Louie home, and I brought Joe back to my house for the night, and I sat up with him, holding him, telling him how "special" he really was, and how sometimes impossible obstacles come our way, to help make us stronger. To "test" us. And, sometimes to bring us messages. And, how many times, these things happen, just before something really good is about to happen. We are always in danger of attack from the enemy (the "Dark One", Satan, Evil Forces,) - and we must always remain close to God, for Protection.
I reminded him that "Our steps are ordered of the Lord," and told him to just look around him - to see that he is safe, and out of harm's way. That it could always be "worse" - told him I'd gladly trade my wallet for my two children that I had lost in my bitter breakup with my wife. Told him how proud I was that he tried to help that guy, in the first place. How impressed I was with his energy and motivation - to get a well-paying contracting job, and go on 3 interviews, the very FIRST day he had a place to actually work from, meaning to shower, use the phone, sleep in a bed, etc.
Well, we had a picnic, spent July 4th together, side by side, all day, also had Spencer over to join us. Sat on our blanket out near the beach, held hands, and told each other of past holidays, and Joe told us, that this was the best 4th of July he had EVER had.
July 5th, he worked on the contracting job, thru the weekend, installing a new kitchen floor - which turned out beautifully - Joe insisted on cooking for us on Sunday - to thank us for all our help - and I went home to a sumptuous home-cooked meal, compliments of him, Sunday night, with all my dear friends, the "mayor," Spencer, Joe and I, gathered around the table. We prayed over the meal, and for one another, and had the best time, I think one could ever have. Joe bought me a Zippo lighter, (for my cigars) with his contracting money, (bought one for each of us.) which I think I shall keep, the rest of my life, as one of the dearest gifts I have ever received.
I told Joe, I would take him down to his parent's house to pick up some important documents from his parents - and we'd help him get his ID back, and apply for his SS and his birth certificate. Spencer has absolutely fallen in love with him, as well, and we all three took a road trip together to meet each others' families, and all. We had a rough time getting all the necessary "points" to get his state ID, and had to spend one extra day, down there, in order to get the necessary paperwork. But - we left Indiana WITH his new ID, and all the necessary paperwork he needs to get the rest of his papers. (His mom had to come with us in order make that happen.)
. . . Well, there is more, but I must continue, later, as I am at work, and I have run out of time, for now.
Friday, July 12, 2002
Saturday, July 06, 2002
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: It is not a wonder that I love you . . .
Date: Sat, 6 Jul 2002 14:05:10 -0500
A beautiful letter from you, thank you, each one is a gift and I eagerly take them as such; taking them as I do your minutes, your hours, your days, your energy, your love. I hold, I hoard, them to my heart.
MySteveMan, laying on the floor, Joseph next to you, I saw you and I felt my love for both. In a moment I remembered Luis, Marcela, Carol on the couch in Seville as I walked in the room after getting my cigarettes. I recalled the love I have for Luis and Marcela and I felt it overlaid by the love I have for you and for Joseph. I was frightened to recognize that once more and felt I shouldn't be there; that I should have walked away with my heart full of love for the two of you. Just as I did that last night in Seville; love unchanging, undiminished by time and space. I didn't want anything to hurt that love, nothing to move it away from my being; not knowing what to do, how to move forward.
The need for your love is greater than the need to preserve that moment; I stayed, I would let the moment pass and grow and I would grow with it. I would be with your love, I would feel your love, I would see your love and feel my love for you deepen. It deepened as Joseph laid his head on you, as you held hands, as I watched the smile on your face. I now know why. All the uncompleted, all the failings, all the times I turned my back on love stop now.
All the love I ever felt for anyone is still in me, always has been, always will be. Love is infinite, love is boundless as the sea. I feel it wash over us. Love is not monogamous, I knew that all along. Guy felt that in me; he wanted it to be monogamous, I wanted it to be monogamous because he did. How did I cut off my love for others during that time? I only hid it, not acting on it, an act more shameful than any. I will not do it again. Love bottled, love restrained, like the earth's life blood, magma, spewing forth in waves destroying all in its path, poisoning the air; countless generations before renewal: no more. Instead, let it lap the shores as the sea, as it does the countless grains of sand there, the countless lives of countless souls. Let it hug them, love them, nourish them, care for them. Let it join, let it grow, let it get all that much bigger, all that much deeper, all that much powerful.
Any more words are less. How can I end this as I've ended emails before? Can
I end this? No. Huggs Kisses Love Caring In any order :Spencer
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: It is not a wonder that I love you . . .
Date: Sat, 6 Jul 2002 14:05:10 -0500
A beautiful letter from you, thank you, each one is a gift and I eagerly take them as such; taking them as I do your minutes, your hours, your days, your energy, your love. I hold, I hoard, them to my heart.
MySteveMan, laying on the floor, Joseph next to you, I saw you and I felt my love for both. In a moment I remembered Luis, Marcela, Carol on the couch in Seville as I walked in the room after getting my cigarettes. I recalled the love I have for Luis and Marcela and I felt it overlaid by the love I have for you and for Joseph. I was frightened to recognize that once more and felt I shouldn't be there; that I should have walked away with my heart full of love for the two of you. Just as I did that last night in Seville; love unchanging, undiminished by time and space. I didn't want anything to hurt that love, nothing to move it away from my being; not knowing what to do, how to move forward.
The need for your love is greater than the need to preserve that moment; I stayed, I would let the moment pass and grow and I would grow with it. I would be with your love, I would feel your love, I would see your love and feel my love for you deepen. It deepened as Joseph laid his head on you, as you held hands, as I watched the smile on your face. I now know why. All the uncompleted, all the failings, all the times I turned my back on love stop now.
All the love I ever felt for anyone is still in me, always has been, always will be. Love is infinite, love is boundless as the sea. I feel it wash over us. Love is not monogamous, I knew that all along. Guy felt that in me; he wanted it to be monogamous, I wanted it to be monogamous because he did. How did I cut off my love for others during that time? I only hid it, not acting on it, an act more shameful than any. I will not do it again. Love bottled, love restrained, like the earth's life blood, magma, spewing forth in waves destroying all in its path, poisoning the air; countless generations before renewal: no more. Instead, let it lap the shores as the sea, as it does the countless grains of sand there, the countless lives of countless souls. Let it hug them, love them, nourish them, care for them. Let it join, let it grow, let it get all that much bigger, all that much deeper, all that much powerful.
Any more words are less. How can I end this as I've ended emails before? Can
I end this? No. Huggs Kisses Love Caring In any order :Spencer
EMAIL
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper" , "Steven Rhodes"
Subject: Leveraging the night . . .
Date: Sat, 6 Jul 2002 10:20:10 -0500
. . . with unfulfilled sex drive and vivid dreams of three worlds combined.
Good morning MySteveMan, Love.
. . .
I had a terribly fitful night's sleep, dreamscapes of between stone and >fluff. You were with me through the entire dream, at may side, many times hand in hand, arms around waist or over shoulder. Descending or ascending through them I am not sure.
People that are here now and people who have been here and passed on. A very angry current staffer in the fluff of all places trying to build hard concrete things there for me; trying to make me happy. I was having a very difficult time dealing with him. I did not want the hard things, the realities to be inbetween the rock places. My old friend Ann (now at NIST who sent you LSAT) was there trying to console me; telling me that he meant well.
I kept waking up during the dreams, rolling over on my hard on; ouch. I think I maintained it all through the night; every time I woke up there it was begging for release but the dreams drawing me back into them - making it wait. It was there in the morning, waiting for me - no release yet.
In the dreams a surprise in the soft places; as through the night you are with me and so was Joe. We came up behind him finding him kneeling on the clouds trying to pull something to eat out of a semi-soft vending machine. On realizing we were there he turns to us, looks up with those beautiful eyes and says "What do you expect from an 18 year old?" My heart broke immediately, the dream was over and I had to leave my bed, I was in great pain all over. I've never had someone so new to my consciousness come into my dreams and for him to wake me with that comment. I also never had a constant companion in a such a sequence of dreams.
I should have gone back to bed after the pain eased. I had all of three hours sleep and that being broken. I did not go back to bed. I think I did not want to see what is next; or the pain woke me because I wasn't meant to see what was next.
So I will not delay further in telling you this: The mayor kept calling Joe and I by your name. Steven this and Steven that. Joe caught it first. At first I thought he was telling us about a conversation between you. He spoke through the evening of you a great deal, always referring back to you and saying how much he wished you were with us. I, also, would have liked that but I have to say that I needed to be with the Mayor through the evening without you. Finding out I care about him for him as well as for his relationship with you; which you explained for me previously and set forth again in your letter to Karol. I really do like him. . .
. . . There is an unfathomable amount of love flowing through all of you and an unmistakable bond meant to be. . .
. . . I feel a thread from me out my window up the street to Joe and Richard; a thread soaring across the skyline heading north, wrapping around your abode and going north to you as you sit at work.
The sky is overcast today, its a pall that cannot break the bond. Your email to Karol is incomplete, a thing left unsaid and I wonder why. Is it because you are unsure, because we are unsure, all of us unsure? We cannot have unsteady legs any longer. Sunday, after work, we talk - you and I, maybe all of us. It doesn't matter to me who else will be there. The sun is trying to burn through the pall, it will.
Again, I hope you are having a good day.
Caring Huggs, Kisses and love
:Spencer R6
gspencer@idolo.com "The Romeo and Juliet Chronicles,
Part 6: Romeo and Juliet Have a Son"
Copyright 2001 All Rights Reserved ISBN 1-58898-428-1
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper" , "Steven Rhodes"
Subject: Leveraging the night . . .
Date: Sat, 6 Jul 2002 10:20:10 -0500
. . . with unfulfilled sex drive and vivid dreams of three worlds combined.
Good morning MySteveMan, Love.
. . .
I had a terribly fitful night's sleep, dreamscapes of between stone and >fluff. You were with me through the entire dream, at may side, many times hand in hand, arms around waist or over shoulder. Descending or ascending through them I am not sure.
People that are here now and people who have been here and passed on. A very angry current staffer in the fluff of all places trying to build hard concrete things there for me; trying to make me happy. I was having a very difficult time dealing with him. I did not want the hard things, the realities to be inbetween the rock places. My old friend Ann (now at NIST who sent you LSAT) was there trying to console me; telling me that he meant well.
I kept waking up during the dreams, rolling over on my hard on; ouch. I think I maintained it all through the night; every time I woke up there it was begging for release but the dreams drawing me back into them - making it wait. It was there in the morning, waiting for me - no release yet.
In the dreams a surprise in the soft places; as through the night you are with me and so was Joe. We came up behind him finding him kneeling on the clouds trying to pull something to eat out of a semi-soft vending machine. On realizing we were there he turns to us, looks up with those beautiful eyes and says "What do you expect from an 18 year old?" My heart broke immediately, the dream was over and I had to leave my bed, I was in great pain all over. I've never had someone so new to my consciousness come into my dreams and for him to wake me with that comment. I also never had a constant companion in a such a sequence of dreams.
I should have gone back to bed after the pain eased. I had all of three hours sleep and that being broken. I did not go back to bed. I think I did not want to see what is next; or the pain woke me because I wasn't meant to see what was next.
So I will not delay further in telling you this: The mayor kept calling Joe and I by your name. Steven this and Steven that. Joe caught it first. At first I thought he was telling us about a conversation between you. He spoke through the evening of you a great deal, always referring back to you and saying how much he wished you were with us. I, also, would have liked that but I have to say that I needed to be with the Mayor through the evening without you. Finding out I care about him for him as well as for his relationship with you; which you explained for me previously and set forth again in your letter to Karol. I really do like him. . .
. . . There is an unfathomable amount of love flowing through all of you and an unmistakable bond meant to be. . .
. . . I feel a thread from me out my window up the street to Joe and Richard; a thread soaring across the skyline heading north, wrapping around your abode and going north to you as you sit at work.
The sky is overcast today, its a pall that cannot break the bond. Your email to Karol is incomplete, a thing left unsaid and I wonder why. Is it because you are unsure, because we are unsure, all of us unsure? We cannot have unsteady legs any longer. Sunday, after work, we talk - you and I, maybe all of us. It doesn't matter to me who else will be there. The sun is trying to burn through the pall, it will.
Again, I hope you are having a good day.
Caring Huggs, Kisses and love
:Spencer R6
gspencer@idolo.com "The Romeo and Juliet Chronicles,
Part 6: Romeo and Juliet Have a Son"
Copyright 2001 All Rights Reserved ISBN 1-58898-428-1
EMAIL:
Date: Sat, 6 Jul 2002 08:34:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mac Stryper
Subject: Re: "The Best Fourth I ever had!" . . .
To: gspencer
Guvner's Post Independence Day Whispers!
. . . Was that just the sweetest thing you ever heard! Awwww! Stars n' STRIPES forEVer! And bringing over a carton of cigs and a maxed out train ticket was equally the sweetest thing I ever saw! Thank you for spending the afternoon with us, we really, really needed that! Did I say "US" - "WE"? Uh, I mean, woah, rewind, Joe, and "I". And, even though it is obvious, Joe just adores you.
Frequent Flyers from the best 4th on record. In case you couldn't tell. (And, I had the best 3rd AND 4th, JUST, last year, with my hairy Spaniard, Candido, up to THAT year. But that was not even in the same hemisphere of comparison to THIS one!) AND, there is no topping, lying on the floor, holding hands with the half-naked god-son - JoSEPH, with my Spencer, watching over the property, while I was zooming upon etheral jet-streams, I made it just about twice around the world, on that trip! And, again, soaring, lying out on the beach towels, at Inspiration Point, Independence Day 2002 - I must have been gone for awhile, cuz I sure don't remember where the time went. But, it flew! Time only stops for me for a few things. One is my music. Another is with you. Since day one of meeting you. Another was with this new child, since day one of meeting him. No wonder I look so young! I knew there was a logical explanation. . .
. . .
I just tried reading my coffee / hot chocolate cup. I don't really know how to do that, but I thought it might be easier than it appeared. My interpretation has me awestruck. Or maybe saw-truck-ed. Hah! There was a beautiful flowing motion. It was the same view as one would have, if you were flying above the world, looking down on clouds, continents, and oceans. The macrocosm. Within the macrocosm are the microcosms. Shapes form in the white foam, (continents) sometimes moving together, (in the ocean,) then apart. Just like the astronauts saw Mother Earth. Apollo 13? They were awestruck. In fact, so much so, they had to go thru a rather intense de-briefing. They saw a living breathing "thing" out there. And it was powerful.
. . . Okay, back to the coffee cup - (a big blue cappacino cup)
. . . Just now, there was the ying and the yang, moving in together to form one. Perfectly symmetrical, as they (it) should be.) It became a new body. Like an eye. This eye swam alone in the cup. Suddenly, a second eye appeared, in the shape of a ying or a yang, a teardrop, perhaps. The two eyes began to move together, but did not touch. They kept their distance. A membrane protected them from touching. Came close, but did not touch. Then, out of nowhere, a third eye appeared, and when it did, they all decided to come together to form a face, then the first two eyes merged together into one, engulfing the tail of the third. And when all were one, they gracefully spelled out the letter "M" - which swam untouched and unbroken in the coffee cup, for several minutes, gracefully, boldly - while I typed the first part of this letter - until, finally, it merged into the eternal ring around the now-white-chocoloate colored surface - making the "halo" - accented by a dark, inner ring. The Corona.
And with that, I toast the joy of meeting you! (smacking lips!)
Date: Sat, 6 Jul 2002 08:34:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mac Stryper
Subject: Re: "The Best Fourth I ever had!" . . .
To: gspencer
Guvner's Post Independence Day Whispers!
. . . Was that just the sweetest thing you ever heard! Awwww! Stars n' STRIPES forEVer! And bringing over a carton of cigs and a maxed out train ticket was equally the sweetest thing I ever saw! Thank you for spending the afternoon with us, we really, really needed that! Did I say "US" - "WE"? Uh, I mean, woah, rewind, Joe, and "I". And, even though it is obvious, Joe just adores you.
Frequent Flyers from the best 4th on record. In case you couldn't tell. (And, I had the best 3rd AND 4th, JUST, last year, with my hairy Spaniard, Candido, up to THAT year. But that was not even in the same hemisphere of comparison to THIS one!) AND, there is no topping, lying on the floor, holding hands with the half-naked god-son - JoSEPH, with my Spencer, watching over the property, while I was zooming upon etheral jet-streams, I made it just about twice around the world, on that trip! And, again, soaring, lying out on the beach towels, at Inspiration Point, Independence Day 2002 - I must have been gone for awhile, cuz I sure don't remember where the time went. But, it flew! Time only stops for me for a few things. One is my music. Another is with you. Since day one of meeting you. Another was with this new child, since day one of meeting him. No wonder I look so young! I knew there was a logical explanation. . .
. . .
I just tried reading my coffee / hot chocolate cup. I don't really know how to do that, but I thought it might be easier than it appeared. My interpretation has me awestruck. Or maybe saw-truck-ed. Hah! There was a beautiful flowing motion. It was the same view as one would have, if you were flying above the world, looking down on clouds, continents, and oceans. The macrocosm. Within the macrocosm are the microcosms. Shapes form in the white foam, (continents) sometimes moving together, (in the ocean,) then apart. Just like the astronauts saw Mother Earth. Apollo 13? They were awestruck. In fact, so much so, they had to go thru a rather intense de-briefing. They saw a living breathing "thing" out there. And it was powerful.
. . . Okay, back to the coffee cup - (a big blue cappacino cup)
. . . Just now, there was the ying and the yang, moving in together to form one. Perfectly symmetrical, as they (it) should be.) It became a new body. Like an eye. This eye swam alone in the cup. Suddenly, a second eye appeared, in the shape of a ying or a yang, a teardrop, perhaps. The two eyes began to move together, but did not touch. They kept their distance. A membrane protected them from touching. Came close, but did not touch. Then, out of nowhere, a third eye appeared, and when it did, they all decided to come together to form a face, then the first two eyes merged together into one, engulfing the tail of the third. And when all were one, they gracefully spelled out the letter "M" - which swam untouched and unbroken in the coffee cup, for several minutes, gracefully, boldly - while I typed the first part of this letter - until, finally, it merged into the eternal ring around the now-white-chocoloate colored surface - making the "halo" - accented by a dark, inner ring. The Corona.
And with that, I toast the joy of meeting you! (smacking lips!)
Friday, July 05, 2002
EMAIL Sent: Friday, July 05, 2002 8:33 PM
Spencer, here is the copy I intended to send you, (next PP) with some insight into what is going on. Just got off the phone with our boi, and the Mayor, and he is happily awaiting your arrival! I am so relieved to know that my fellow Arch-Angel is watching over him, tonight. So thankful for YOU! And, The Mayor SAVES the day, once again! Spencer Saves my conscience from worrying. I can lay this weary head on my pillow, knowing our boi will be safe from the Dark One, for one more night! My soul leaps for joi! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! HUGS, KISSES and MICROSOFT DREAMS, my ANGEL!
. . . . . . . . . . . .Letter to Karol:
"Hello My Dearest Karol, Am back at work, today, so am forced to be in front of a PC. It has been a whirlwind of a week, to reiterate.This delicate head has not been where it is accustomed to being, the past week, and an explanation to my whereabouts, was not an easy task for me, and I needed time to compose and collect. This is my first attempt to do that, and I present it here, below, in a nutshell, beginnig last Monday, when I errantly, and most unexcusably, missed your call. . . Other than oversleeping, the day began, just as planned, but would turn OUT to be a day, unlike ANY other
. . . . It was a busy business day for most. It was my Saturday, It was also the Mayor's Homecoming Day. My friend, Richard, "the mayor" , being newly retired from office, had just returned from his 17-day whirlwind tour, - visiting every major point of interest in London. Saw the Queen wave dolefully, and alone, from a single carriage, at the Birthday Coronation, saw her again, at Royal Ascot.
He enjoyed his very first High Tea at Harod's, saw Sampras lose at Wimbledon, (lusting the entire match after his body, he later confided,) went to 2 operas, saw 2 of the best Shakespeare plays, he had EVER seen - one at Stratford on Avon, and the other at Shakespear's Daughter's house, saw the Madonna concert, and also the new Andrew Lloyd Weber Musical! I imagine it was one of the funnest vacations, a person could ever spend.
Continuing . . . We were to meet for lunch at my favorite place, (Panera, which is near the health club, the salon, health food store, and other major points of interest, on my daily schedule - situated conveniently and on this day, luckily, on Clark and Diversey.)
Some very good sight seeing, there! And, I know a lot of the regulars, there; Michael, the owner of a local Hair Salon, and there's Jerry, a Sculpture Artist, and of course, Ray, an old friend of Michael Laridon's and myself, now working at yet another hair salon, just up the street, etc. I look forward to the quaint, and familiar faces, each day, saying "hi", "how have you been", and filling each other in on our week's events, overhearing conversations about one another, sharing cigarettes, (or in my case, cigars,) or just offering a friendly handshake, now and then, as we chance-meet together, at the same time, and place, almost every day.
Except for the brief handshakes, and pleasantries I exchange with the locals, I usually dine alone. Alone in the crowd. Or alone, and alone. So, needless to say, I really look forward to my weekly lunch dates with the mayor, and he, with me, especially, looked forward to last Monday, to revel in his brave tales from abroad, (and a bonus treat - to open the surprises he toted back for me, YAY - English Breakfast Tea from Buckingham Palace!) Afterward, I planned to stick around and finish up a sketch, for my Spencer's book, and double-treat-of-treats - happily looked forward to yet aNOTHER meal, accompanied by my Twin and Fellow Arch-Angel, (as opposed to arch-enemy???) (Spencer) at Grillers, (the cafe, in the building where he works!) Well, continuing - the mayoral homecoming at Panera
. . . It was a gloriously hot Chicago day, the kind of day you lust for, some nine brutal months out of the bitter and windy chicago year. I knew I would have a hard time focusing on my project, and I also knew the mayor would be feeling "frisky", two things which were sure to distract me, I had work to do, and had been putting it off for weeks.
The deadline I had set, set again, and RE-SET had been postponed for the LAST time. And, I was determined to press on - to completion! Sometimes, we go back to the mayoral penthouse for some afternoon delight! Sometimes we have sleepovers, and go out to dinner, or the Symphony, or just play some piano, and spend a quiet evening together. But, Monday, we both had other and separate dinner plans, but, had a couple of hours to kill, just "hangin'" out, hearing each other's tales from the past couple of weeks. There had been MUCH to catch up on, tooI really like the mayor. (Not as a "lover", per se. Just as a close friend, and sometime playmate.) We both find this is a very comfortable relationship, and there is no possessiveness, no responsibility, no expectation, other than our one day a week get-togethers. We are very comfortable together, or apart.
Either way! We've known each other for seven months, now - having met at a rather risque New Year's Eve party, and have easily managed to stay in touch, ever since. Just as a side note, to explain how much we have in common; He was the Director of the Fine Arts something-or-other in Kalamazoo, MI, for several years, where they host the Van Cliborn Piano Competition, et.al., and is an expert in most areas of classical music. And as a sidenote, he is even moving his piano to Chicago (just got divorced,) as soon as he gets his new carpet in. So, anyway, the Mayor showed up, on time, at the designated time, and we sat down in the outdoor cafe, under a 90-degree sun, to open presents, and have our wonderful lunch.
As we were well into our lunch, watching all the people go back and forth, (many of which are going to and from the health club, next-door, providing VERY nice eye candy,) an exceptionally, rare, young 20-something, dirty-blonde cub came swaggering up and set up court, at the opposite end of the cafe from us. - It imMEDiately caught our eye! Both. All four! HAH! Young cub sat down, immediately stripping off his shirt, giving us all a show, - great, classic Italian chest, pecs, trimmed, or "clipped" hair, as they call it, maybe 5'9, 155 lbs. lightly muscular - kind of like a kickboxer's body - and getting "hit" on by virtually every person that came up and sat down all around his table.
He was laughing, telling everyone stories, walking back and forth thru the restaurant with a new person, each time, getting refills on soda, etc. As the mayor and I continued our pleasant "homecoming" reunion, I noticed, the young pup kept looking back, over his shoulder, (had his back to us, by then,) catching my glances. Oh - at least 10 times! Hah! I wished to GOD we had sat next to him, I swore to myself, as I was SURE we would have been wildly embraced, by now! This one was MINE! Save for a cruel twist of fate, to be encumbered with mayoral paraphernalia, and situated at the worst possible table, in proximity to HIS! DRAT!
The afternoon wore on, and the mayor and I remained at our table, and I remained steadfast to my task of skethching, as I wanted to be able to have a finished product for Spencer, later that afternoon. (I am illustrating the second edition of one of his books, which I may have mentioned, a few hundred times, "The Romeo and Juliet Chronicles, Part VI - Romeo and Juliet have a Son.")
Romeo, remained planted, and had me so dam distracted, I was chancing a pop out, mid day in front of all the customers, in my smallest of small workout shorts, which I had mistakenly managed to wear that day! Oh, Karol, the twinkle in this cub's eye, his friendly personality, quite a rarity for these parts, his mirth, and his apparent "ease" with everyone, around him. It was all I could do to keep shifting positions, to keep myself from being exposed to the rest of the restaurant!
. . . At last! Finally my turn to go back inside to get our refills, (the mayor had enthusiastically made the last trip!) My route was well-planned. I would line-drive a course, directly past his table to get see if what I was really seeing was not just some mirage! I was able to distract our shining cub, for one brief second, while he was talking to this other guy, next to him, and was able to make eye contact!
WOW! Scored! A nod from me,and an automatic reflex I have never been able to control - that arching left eyebrow - somehow managed to catch his twinkling eye, and a handsome smile -which although only for a brief moment, seemed to last for an eternity! I regrettably pressed on, to the pop machine, pumped the lever for ice, and just as I was about to make my return voyage, wonder of wonders! Who just happened to be standing behind me, when I turned around???
My mouth became like putty, moving, but the tongue not cooperating. I slowly formed the words, "Are you going to be here awhile? And, "would he care to join us at our table?" How did I manage to get those words out??? A mystery, I don't care to analyze, looking back.
My shining cub was equally, tongue-tied - wasn't exactly sure what he said, back to me, other than something about noticing my cute butt, walking by, and how I had my bare leg (set to the maximum daytime exposure in my small work-out trunks, btw,) up on the chair, outside, providing him with an equally distracting show! Well, as we were trying to walk back outside, with our freshly-filled drinks, tottering, precariosly in nervous hands, on our journey together, all the while, beaming like old school chums, and trying to talk with leaded tongues, the both of us.
All I remember thinking was - THIS has GOT to be a DREAM! And WHAT am I going to do with the MAYOR, if he DOES take me up on my spur-of-the moment OFFER! As we sauntered back outside, to my utter surprise and delight - he grabbed up his things, and said goodbye to the guy at the neighboring table, and, indeed, joined the mayor and I, at our table, for an afternoon of the most wonderful calibre - and a shared journey through his past 2 days, of the most bizarre events, you could EVER imagine. . . . . . . To be continued!
Our time has been spent side-by-side, almost exclusively, since that afternoon, and had it not been for having to come back to work, this morning, I would happily be on another, amazingly wonderful afternoon adventure, with him, right now! Well, that is my story, and I'm STICKIN' TO it! Thanks for the wonderful card, and hope you are busily packing, for the MOVE BACK HOME!!!!! YAY! - Love Forever and Ever, AMEN! - Steely Steve!
God Bless Our Beloved Dodie, who is now in peace, looking down on us, from back in God's Garden! P.S. I had lunch by my special memorial site, and her face is still looking up at me, untouched, since the day I shed so many tears, fashioning it with the heart-shaped stone and all. Her spirit has never left Chicago, I am happy to report. Luvs and Huggs, my Precious! "
----------
EMAIL:
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: Top of the Morning to You . . .
Date: Fri, 5 Jul 2002 12:04:46 -0500
. . .top of the morning to the top of the nights.
Hey MySteveMan! Good morning, what is left of it. A flying SteveMan, damn I loved watching your face yesterday, it felt so good all over my soul to see the look in your eyes. Wow! I'm teary eyed just thinking of it.
I don't know where this is going. It is closed to me right now. I know I love you very much, I know that grows everytime I am with you and I know that washes over to Joe; as it would wash over to anyone who makes you look the way you did yesterday.
I told you yesterday about my conversation with Nathan, TeaseBoi knows I have the hots for him. I told him that I was sure I would be sitting outside at our picnic smoldering with jealousy and hoping I could have him there to hold. Slap my face will you, MySteveMan. Slap it hard; we know he's not for me.
Oh, yes, I was writing an email back to Killer and told him, or somebody, that Louis and Ray did not show up for the picnic. I did not catch that until last night when I was typing out the names: "Louis" and "Ray" Luis Rey, Luisito! His professional name: Luisito Rey! Yikes, talk about something that probably should never happen! Perhaps something that has to happen? Reality check that will you MySteveMan?
Now, tell me what I am to do? No, maybe there is no telling me what to do. We don't do that with each other, we just light our torches for the other to see the paths in front of him. You are Michael to me, as ever the First Friend who shows up for the final battle to prepare, to fight at each other's side.
How much don't I say?
By this time you are preparing for BTN for lunch. Have you been preoccupied this morning? I know I would be; very much so. I hope the day goes well in all aspects. It is noon, I best get myself cleaned up for the day. I had a decent night's sleep but for at 4AM when all those fireworks were going off!
I thought someone was trying to break through the roof! It only lasted a short while. I never experienced that before, its my third 4th here in this place (how uncanny, again, the third fourth). Did you see it or hear it?
Talk soon, please, I know you have little time - now, no time really. Muchos Abrazos
Muchos Besos Muchos Cariños Muchos Amores :Spencer
---------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 14:22:21 -0400
From: SixthRomeo@aol.com
To: cubstryper@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Pussycat Master II - Bombs Bursting in AIR!
:-) Pictures that are each worth thousands of words and heart beats. What can I say? Cute as a bug's ear! (love the midwesterner lingo) Thank you for reminding me that I do use this account sometimes and I should watch for replies to it. Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, you need help. Love :Spencer
---------------
Spencer, here is the copy I intended to send you, (next PP) with some insight into what is going on. Just got off the phone with our boi, and the Mayor, and he is happily awaiting your arrival! I am so relieved to know that my fellow Arch-Angel is watching over him, tonight. So thankful for YOU! And, The Mayor SAVES the day, once again! Spencer Saves my conscience from worrying. I can lay this weary head on my pillow, knowing our boi will be safe from the Dark One, for one more night! My soul leaps for joi! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! HUGS, KISSES and MICROSOFT DREAMS, my ANGEL!
. . . . . . . . . . . .Letter to Karol:
"Hello My Dearest Karol, Am back at work, today, so am forced to be in front of a PC. It has been a whirlwind of a week, to reiterate.This delicate head has not been where it is accustomed to being, the past week, and an explanation to my whereabouts, was not an easy task for me, and I needed time to compose and collect. This is my first attempt to do that, and I present it here, below, in a nutshell, beginnig last Monday, when I errantly, and most unexcusably, missed your call. . . Other than oversleeping, the day began, just as planned, but would turn OUT to be a day, unlike ANY other
. . . . It was a busy business day for most. It was my Saturday, It was also the Mayor's Homecoming Day. My friend, Richard, "the mayor" , being newly retired from office, had just returned from his 17-day whirlwind tour, - visiting every major point of interest in London. Saw the Queen wave dolefully, and alone, from a single carriage, at the Birthday Coronation, saw her again, at Royal Ascot.
He enjoyed his very first High Tea at Harod's, saw Sampras lose at Wimbledon, (lusting the entire match after his body, he later confided,) went to 2 operas, saw 2 of the best Shakespeare plays, he had EVER seen - one at Stratford on Avon, and the other at Shakespear's Daughter's house, saw the Madonna concert, and also the new Andrew Lloyd Weber Musical! I imagine it was one of the funnest vacations, a person could ever spend.
Continuing . . . We were to meet for lunch at my favorite place, (Panera, which is near the health club, the salon, health food store, and other major points of interest, on my daily schedule - situated conveniently and on this day, luckily, on Clark and Diversey.)
Some very good sight seeing, there! And, I know a lot of the regulars, there; Michael, the owner of a local Hair Salon, and there's Jerry, a Sculpture Artist, and of course, Ray, an old friend of Michael Laridon's and myself, now working at yet another hair salon, just up the street, etc. I look forward to the quaint, and familiar faces, each day, saying "hi", "how have you been", and filling each other in on our week's events, overhearing conversations about one another, sharing cigarettes, (or in my case, cigars,) or just offering a friendly handshake, now and then, as we chance-meet together, at the same time, and place, almost every day.
Except for the brief handshakes, and pleasantries I exchange with the locals, I usually dine alone. Alone in the crowd. Or alone, and alone. So, needless to say, I really look forward to my weekly lunch dates with the mayor, and he, with me, especially, looked forward to last Monday, to revel in his brave tales from abroad, (and a bonus treat - to open the surprises he toted back for me, YAY - English Breakfast Tea from Buckingham Palace!) Afterward, I planned to stick around and finish up a sketch, for my Spencer's book, and double-treat-of-treats - happily looked forward to yet aNOTHER meal, accompanied by my Twin and Fellow Arch-Angel, (as opposed to arch-enemy???) (Spencer) at Grillers, (the cafe, in the building where he works!) Well, continuing - the mayoral homecoming at Panera
. . . It was a gloriously hot Chicago day, the kind of day you lust for, some nine brutal months out of the bitter and windy chicago year. I knew I would have a hard time focusing on my project, and I also knew the mayor would be feeling "frisky", two things which were sure to distract me, I had work to do, and had been putting it off for weeks.
The deadline I had set, set again, and RE-SET had been postponed for the LAST time. And, I was determined to press on - to completion! Sometimes, we go back to the mayoral penthouse for some afternoon delight! Sometimes we have sleepovers, and go out to dinner, or the Symphony, or just play some piano, and spend a quiet evening together. But, Monday, we both had other and separate dinner plans, but, had a couple of hours to kill, just "hangin'" out, hearing each other's tales from the past couple of weeks. There had been MUCH to catch up on, tooI really like the mayor. (Not as a "lover", per se. Just as a close friend, and sometime playmate.) We both find this is a very comfortable relationship, and there is no possessiveness, no responsibility, no expectation, other than our one day a week get-togethers. We are very comfortable together, or apart.
Either way! We've known each other for seven months, now - having met at a rather risque New Year's Eve party, and have easily managed to stay in touch, ever since. Just as a side note, to explain how much we have in common; He was the Director of the Fine Arts something-or-other in Kalamazoo, MI, for several years, where they host the Van Cliborn Piano Competition, et.al., and is an expert in most areas of classical music. And as a sidenote, he is even moving his piano to Chicago (just got divorced,) as soon as he gets his new carpet in. So, anyway, the Mayor showed up, on time, at the designated time, and we sat down in the outdoor cafe, under a 90-degree sun, to open presents, and have our wonderful lunch.
As we were well into our lunch, watching all the people go back and forth, (many of which are going to and from the health club, next-door, providing VERY nice eye candy,) an exceptionally, rare, young 20-something, dirty-blonde cub came swaggering up and set up court, at the opposite end of the cafe from us. - It imMEDiately caught our eye! Both. All four! HAH! Young cub sat down, immediately stripping off his shirt, giving us all a show, - great, classic Italian chest, pecs, trimmed, or "clipped" hair, as they call it, maybe 5'9, 155 lbs. lightly muscular - kind of like a kickboxer's body - and getting "hit" on by virtually every person that came up and sat down all around his table.
He was laughing, telling everyone stories, walking back and forth thru the restaurant with a new person, each time, getting refills on soda, etc. As the mayor and I continued our pleasant "homecoming" reunion, I noticed, the young pup kept looking back, over his shoulder, (had his back to us, by then,) catching my glances. Oh - at least 10 times! Hah! I wished to GOD we had sat next to him, I swore to myself, as I was SURE we would have been wildly embraced, by now! This one was MINE! Save for a cruel twist of fate, to be encumbered with mayoral paraphernalia, and situated at the worst possible table, in proximity to HIS! DRAT!
The afternoon wore on, and the mayor and I remained at our table, and I remained steadfast to my task of skethching, as I wanted to be able to have a finished product for Spencer, later that afternoon. (I am illustrating the second edition of one of his books, which I may have mentioned, a few hundred times, "The Romeo and Juliet Chronicles, Part VI - Romeo and Juliet have a Son.")
Romeo, remained planted, and had me so dam distracted, I was chancing a pop out, mid day in front of all the customers, in my smallest of small workout shorts, which I had mistakenly managed to wear that day! Oh, Karol, the twinkle in this cub's eye, his friendly personality, quite a rarity for these parts, his mirth, and his apparent "ease" with everyone, around him. It was all I could do to keep shifting positions, to keep myself from being exposed to the rest of the restaurant!
. . . At last! Finally my turn to go back inside to get our refills, (the mayor had enthusiastically made the last trip!) My route was well-planned. I would line-drive a course, directly past his table to get see if what I was really seeing was not just some mirage! I was able to distract our shining cub, for one brief second, while he was talking to this other guy, next to him, and was able to make eye contact!
WOW! Scored! A nod from me,and an automatic reflex I have never been able to control - that arching left eyebrow - somehow managed to catch his twinkling eye, and a handsome smile -which although only for a brief moment, seemed to last for an eternity! I regrettably pressed on, to the pop machine, pumped the lever for ice, and just as I was about to make my return voyage, wonder of wonders! Who just happened to be standing behind me, when I turned around???
My mouth became like putty, moving, but the tongue not cooperating. I slowly formed the words, "Are you going to be here awhile? And, "would he care to join us at our table?" How did I manage to get those words out??? A mystery, I don't care to analyze, looking back.
My shining cub was equally, tongue-tied - wasn't exactly sure what he said, back to me, other than something about noticing my cute butt, walking by, and how I had my bare leg (set to the maximum daytime exposure in my small work-out trunks, btw,) up on the chair, outside, providing him with an equally distracting show! Well, as we were trying to walk back outside, with our freshly-filled drinks, tottering, precariosly in nervous hands, on our journey together, all the while, beaming like old school chums, and trying to talk with leaded tongues, the both of us.
All I remember thinking was - THIS has GOT to be a DREAM! And WHAT am I going to do with the MAYOR, if he DOES take me up on my spur-of-the moment OFFER! As we sauntered back outside, to my utter surprise and delight - he grabbed up his things, and said goodbye to the guy at the neighboring table, and, indeed, joined the mayor and I, at our table, for an afternoon of the most wonderful calibre - and a shared journey through his past 2 days, of the most bizarre events, you could EVER imagine. . . . . . . To be continued!
Our time has been spent side-by-side, almost exclusively, since that afternoon, and had it not been for having to come back to work, this morning, I would happily be on another, amazingly wonderful afternoon adventure, with him, right now! Well, that is my story, and I'm STICKIN' TO it! Thanks for the wonderful card, and hope you are busily packing, for the MOVE BACK HOME!!!!! YAY! - Love Forever and Ever, AMEN! - Steely Steve!
God Bless Our Beloved Dodie, who is now in peace, looking down on us, from back in God's Garden! P.S. I had lunch by my special memorial site, and her face is still looking up at me, untouched, since the day I shed so many tears, fashioning it with the heart-shaped stone and all. Her spirit has never left Chicago, I am happy to report. Luvs and Huggs, my Precious! "
----------
EMAIL:
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: Top of the Morning to You . . .
Date: Fri, 5 Jul 2002 12:04:46 -0500
. . .top of the morning to the top of the nights.
Hey MySteveMan! Good morning, what is left of it. A flying SteveMan, damn I loved watching your face yesterday, it felt so good all over my soul to see the look in your eyes. Wow! I'm teary eyed just thinking of it.
I don't know where this is going. It is closed to me right now. I know I love you very much, I know that grows everytime I am with you and I know that washes over to Joe; as it would wash over to anyone who makes you look the way you did yesterday.
I told you yesterday about my conversation with Nathan, TeaseBoi knows I have the hots for him. I told him that I was sure I would be sitting outside at our picnic smoldering with jealousy and hoping I could have him there to hold. Slap my face will you, MySteveMan. Slap it hard; we know he's not for me.
Oh, yes, I was writing an email back to Killer and told him, or somebody, that Louis and Ray did not show up for the picnic. I did not catch that until last night when I was typing out the names: "Louis" and "Ray" Luis Rey, Luisito! His professional name: Luisito Rey! Yikes, talk about something that probably should never happen! Perhaps something that has to happen? Reality check that will you MySteveMan?
Now, tell me what I am to do? No, maybe there is no telling me what to do. We don't do that with each other, we just light our torches for the other to see the paths in front of him. You are Michael to me, as ever the First Friend who shows up for the final battle to prepare, to fight at each other's side.
How much don't I say?
By this time you are preparing for BTN for lunch. Have you been preoccupied this morning? I know I would be; very much so. I hope the day goes well in all aspects. It is noon, I best get myself cleaned up for the day. I had a decent night's sleep but for at 4AM when all those fireworks were going off!
I thought someone was trying to break through the roof! It only lasted a short while. I never experienced that before, its my third 4th here in this place (how uncanny, again, the third fourth). Did you see it or hear it?
Talk soon, please, I know you have little time - now, no time really. Muchos Abrazos
Muchos Besos Muchos Cariños Muchos Amores :Spencer
---------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 14:22:21 -0400
From: SixthRomeo@aol.com
To: cubstryper@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Pussycat Master II - Bombs Bursting in AIR!
:-) Pictures that are each worth thousands of words and heart beats. What can I say? Cute as a bug's ear! (love the midwesterner lingo) Thank you for reminding me that I do use this account sometimes and I should watch for replies to it. Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, you need help. Love :Spencer
---------------
Thursday, July 04, 2002
July 4, 2002 EMAILS:
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: Buenas Dias!
Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 06:50:36 CDT
Hola EsteveHombreMio! Hola JosePabloMio!
A beautiful morning because you are in it. 'Had a good night's sleep, not terribly long but solid and restful. 'Will give you a call in a little bit; after I am ready for the day. I recognize the tone and content of your email. I think it is here. Things are happening for reasons, we know that, we act on them because we have no choice; it is our nature. You and I, the people we are drawn to; those drawn to us. There is a purpose here. Paths set, taken, embarkations, destinations, training; so it begins.
Give my huggs and love to PussyCat, JoePaul and MySteveMan. Talk soon
Muchos Abrazos Muchos Cariños Muchos Besos Muchos Amores. :Spencer R6
---------------------
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: Third on the Fourth . . .
Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 22:18:58 -0500
. . . wish it were more; however, two's company, three's a crowd and four is just a fucking gangbang.
Hey, MySteveMan! I hope you are comfortably sleeping by now or comfortably being comfortable(?) logging frequent flyer miles way beyond anything on the Mayor's account. Says Spencer, tendering walking around the edges of propriety.
Thank you for the afternoon, you and Joe and sweet under the weather or over the weather pussycat. Viewing your art work from your book is a treat.
Fantastic stuff. Viewing artwork for my book! Fantastic stuff! I wish I did not have to wait for JT to return from West Palm Beach to finish the Spanish version of the book. I'd like to be working with all these things with you really soon.
You have a really good day at work, I wish this afternoon could have turned into more of an evening but it is another situation come the morning. Sitting here this evening I typed some more of Fernando's chapter out for him but I had to stop, my eyes are very tired and so is the rest of me. I had a great afternoon. Thank you again.
Love Huggs Kisses Caring :Spencer
-------
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: Buenas Dias!
Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 06:50:36 CDT
Hola EsteveHombreMio! Hola JosePabloMio!
A beautiful morning because you are in it. 'Had a good night's sleep, not terribly long but solid and restful. 'Will give you a call in a little bit; after I am ready for the day. I recognize the tone and content of your email. I think it is here. Things are happening for reasons, we know that, we act on them because we have no choice; it is our nature. You and I, the people we are drawn to; those drawn to us. There is a purpose here. Paths set, taken, embarkations, destinations, training; so it begins.
Give my huggs and love to PussyCat, JoePaul and MySteveMan. Talk soon
Muchos Abrazos Muchos Cariños Muchos Besos Muchos Amores. :Spencer R6
---------------------
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: Third on the Fourth . . .
Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 22:18:58 -0500
. . . wish it were more; however, two's company, three's a crowd and four is just a fucking gangbang.
Hey, MySteveMan! I hope you are comfortably sleeping by now or comfortably being comfortable(?) logging frequent flyer miles way beyond anything on the Mayor's account. Says Spencer, tendering walking around the edges of propriety.
Thank you for the afternoon, you and Joe and sweet under the weather or over the weather pussycat. Viewing your art work from your book is a treat.
Fantastic stuff. Viewing artwork for my book! Fantastic stuff! I wish I did not have to wait for JT to return from West Palm Beach to finish the Spanish version of the book. I'd like to be working with all these things with you really soon.
You have a really good day at work, I wish this afternoon could have turned into more of an evening but it is another situation come the morning. Sitting here this evening I typed some more of Fernando's chapter out for him but I had to stop, my eyes are very tired and so is the rest of me. I had a great afternoon. Thank you again.
Love Huggs Kisses Caring :Spencer
-------
Wednesday, July 03, 2002
Wednesday July 3 Emails:
EMAIL:
From Spencer:
Subject: Discover Josh Groban, listen to his new CD!
If you do not hear music in a few seconds, go here:
http://www.buzztone.com/josh/
EMAIL:
Date: Wed, 3 Jul 2002 21:04:42 (CDT)
Subject: Re: Updates and Frequent Flyer Rewards!
To: gspencer
Guvner's Long Overdue Report . . .
It has been one incredible journey, to say the least, this past week. I have been taken on an incredible journey, from which there is no turning back. Things will never be the same, that is an understatement. I must apologize for the lapse in our incredible correspondence. You are right on in what you say. The Joe is a modern-day marvel! This creature has been given gifts, beyond what even I imagined. He has recently become a man, and, like us all, is now experiencing the journey of "becoming" that.
He has extraordinary talents. He has many of the same parallels as you, as I. He is special, beyond a doubt. He has almost been destroyed. He has been protected by the Divine. He will have much power and influence over men. Over nations. He is watching. He is learning. At an extraordinary pace. And, yes, it is overwhelming - but not overwhelming HIM. He is above it. He IS it. He will not cross over to the Dark One. Not while I am here. Nor while you are here. I think is will be one of the Universe's Greatest Victories!
Yes! You will NOT believe the horrible forces of Evil nor the unspeakable atrocities that are coming against him. Right now, as he sleeps at my side. More things, just in the past 3 days. Way more than most men could ever comprehend. We will see you, tomorrow. We must ensure that he sees you. Pray as if it were 1999! It will take both of us. This is way bigger than I, singular. This is nothing for us.
My pillow and my shirtsleaves have been soaked with tears, both our tears. All our tears. But, tears of support, yes, I cannot lie, tears of desperation to survive, of the success of survival, and the hope of success. Great, Overwhelming Success. "Better than Okay", Success. I dream(ed) important dreams. They were not idle, senseless, storybook dreams. They were portents. Portent dreams. Now I understand. The battle is on, and the victors are in this "room", right now. The shadows of the real losers still loom, I can taste and smell their smoky charred coattails. They are sickeningly acrid. But they are but smoldering ash. They have understood the "No Vacancy" sign on my doorstep, covered in Lamb's blood. And I am not afraid. I play with warriors. I comfort them with soft kisses. The "angel dust" from the keys, from which I play, has mixed into the dirty blonde tresses, surrounding raw souls with Edenic kisses.
It has taken every ounce of my energy and time. You already understand. Your daily emails, go unanswered, yet you somehow know there is a bigger picture. You are a warrior. Unlike the others!
My charge has just awoken, my time is short. Call as soon as you can, in the morning. I shall try to be near the phone by 10am. All the shopping is done, except potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans, and the bevrages. The grill is coming at 3pm. I think I have everything else, ("Jesu, Joi of Man's Desire" is now playing in the background, complements of your incredible link to Josh Groban. He is a Divine Marvel. There is no mistake! - Good call - Fernando!!) Cannot wait to see, talk and be with you, tomorrow.
Your spirit has been here, all week. I have felt it quite strongly. Am greatful for that. So very happy for that.
- Yes, tomorrow - TODAY! YIKES - Sweet, sweet slumber, signing off for a brief night's sleep.
Steveman MSM . . ."
EMAIL:
From Spencer:
Subject: Discover Josh Groban, listen to his new CD!
If you do not hear music in a few seconds, go here:
http://www.buzztone.com/josh/
EMAIL:
Date: Wed, 3 Jul 2002 21:04:42 (CDT)
Subject: Re: Updates and Frequent Flyer Rewards!
To: gspencer
Guvner's Long Overdue Report . . .
It has been one incredible journey, to say the least, this past week. I have been taken on an incredible journey, from which there is no turning back. Things will never be the same, that is an understatement. I must apologize for the lapse in our incredible correspondence. You are right on in what you say. The Joe is a modern-day marvel! This creature has been given gifts, beyond what even I imagined. He has recently become a man, and, like us all, is now experiencing the journey of "becoming" that.
He has extraordinary talents. He has many of the same parallels as you, as I. He is special, beyond a doubt. He has almost been destroyed. He has been protected by the Divine. He will have much power and influence over men. Over nations. He is watching. He is learning. At an extraordinary pace. And, yes, it is overwhelming - but not overwhelming HIM. He is above it. He IS it. He will not cross over to the Dark One. Not while I am here. Nor while you are here. I think is will be one of the Universe's Greatest Victories!
Yes! You will NOT believe the horrible forces of Evil nor the unspeakable atrocities that are coming against him. Right now, as he sleeps at my side. More things, just in the past 3 days. Way more than most men could ever comprehend. We will see you, tomorrow. We must ensure that he sees you. Pray as if it were 1999! It will take both of us. This is way bigger than I, singular. This is nothing for us.
My pillow and my shirtsleaves have been soaked with tears, both our tears. All our tears. But, tears of support, yes, I cannot lie, tears of desperation to survive, of the success of survival, and the hope of success. Great, Overwhelming Success. "Better than Okay", Success. I dream(ed) important dreams. They were not idle, senseless, storybook dreams. They were portents. Portent dreams. Now I understand. The battle is on, and the victors are in this "room", right now. The shadows of the real losers still loom, I can taste and smell their smoky charred coattails. They are sickeningly acrid. But they are but smoldering ash. They have understood the "No Vacancy" sign on my doorstep, covered in Lamb's blood. And I am not afraid. I play with warriors. I comfort them with soft kisses. The "angel dust" from the keys, from which I play, has mixed into the dirty blonde tresses, surrounding raw souls with Edenic kisses.
It has taken every ounce of my energy and time. You already understand. Your daily emails, go unanswered, yet you somehow know there is a bigger picture. You are a warrior. Unlike the others!
My charge has just awoken, my time is short. Call as soon as you can, in the morning. I shall try to be near the phone by 10am. All the shopping is done, except potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans, and the bevrages. The grill is coming at 3pm. I think I have everything else, ("Jesu, Joi of Man's Desire" is now playing in the background, complements of your incredible link to Josh Groban. He is a Divine Marvel. There is no mistake! - Good call - Fernando!!) Cannot wait to see, talk and be with you, tomorrow.
Your spirit has been here, all week. I have felt it quite strongly. Am greatful for that. So very happy for that.
- Yes, tomorrow - TODAY! YIKES - Sweet, sweet slumber, signing off for a brief night's sleep.
Steveman MSM . . ."
Wednesday, July 3, 2002 "Night Moods"
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: "Night moods . . .
". . . working on those night moods, looking for the right moves, nothing left to lose." - paraphrasing Bob Seeger.
:Spencer
From: "gspencer"
To: "Mac Stryper"
Subject: "Night moods . . .
". . . working on those night moods, looking for the right moves, nothing left to lose." - paraphrasing Bob Seeger.
Hey MySteveMan!
I'm glad our timing was good last night. I am glad Joe's timing was good, I am glad your timing was good. There is nothing like divine intervention to cue us into taking action and taking stock. It sounds like you had a very good night; abeit sleepless after Seattle (Starbucks, forgive me).
No pictures yet, though, you have not had the time to work on them and that is a good thing. Focus, decisions, actions. It's not a wren in the window this time or on the pavement at Chicago and Wabash picking crumbs from a muffin. It's you, it's another Steven Rhodes; he represents's millions of young lads who never had a chance at survival, at life or at love.
He's a reminder of a failed Spencer who let George/Jorge go because Spencer couldn't deal with cleaning up the mess if he couldn't kiss the boy on his mouth and tell him he loved him. I'd say I'd burn in hell for that but I know I won't, its an finite number of chances in an infinite number of lives and times. He's a reminder of many boys over whom I bruised my soul.
In this case, he is your charge. I'll help watch, I will help as much as I can since he's part of your life, you are a part of mine; my loving you is my loving him, my loving DH, my loving the Mayor, my loving your friend Dodie.
You had quite a successful day; back massage, soul massage, job interviews, work, employment, learning curves and curbs. Whew. I am on to the morning routine and out to work. Y'all have a great day.
Huggs and love for MySteveMan and JoeMark (hopefully losing the Mark part and putting back the Paul part, [Joseph Paul Greene] another JP! Juan-Pablo/Joseph Paul)."
:Spencer
Tuesday, July 02, 2002
Date: Tue, 2 Jul 2002 06:34:53 CDT
Enter JuniorSubject: Re: Thank you, thank you, thank youX10000!
To: gspencer
Morning Cums Early, Guvner, SIR!
" . . .Your are THE ARCHANGEL! . . . Joe [Junior] just left - I have PICtures! Joe got himSELF up at 7:30 - no alarm - we got him fitted with some nice clothes, out of the Mac summerstock wardrobe. Last night, he remembered he had court, this am - (something he said they will "throw out") - and he remembered, as he was trying to call his parents - so knowing how he is with remembering dates, it seemed legit. I'm meeting him at 11am at BT Central, and I'm going to try to talk to the building mgr (the highrise, above Panera) - to try and get some of his things. He was 100% sober, and laughing, this am, he is so "touched" by what you did for him, and what we did, sure, last night, he was just glowing. (I gave him $20 and some singles to get downtown.)
I'm sending him over to some of the moving companies, after lunch, and he is GETTING a job, or going back to the slimepits, no ifs, ands, or butts! Personally, I think he has a much better chance of getting his act together, if he stays away from those people, back home. From what I've heard, they're basically bad news. He was doing fine, until he got
mixed up with that crack head - something he doesn't even do. He was really doing some soul searching, about the drinking, and the dope - don't really think he will totally quit, but, he seems to understand how it has f-d him up.
We stayed up talking for hours and hours. I finally got him to lay back in my arms, and gave him a mac-massage - then he just melted, and we went to bed - did some JO stuff, and talked for at least another hour, allthewhile, fooling around - frontal wise, that is. That's it. Neither came. I think it was just the best, that he wanted to get naked, get loved, and really, just talk. (I have been "wet" since lunch, yesterday, needless to say. YOUCH!) I told him I wouldn't post his pics, but I fully intend to get his permission today, to email them to you, his "angel"! He really wants you to help him write his book, he mentioned that several times, after we left.
I showed him some pics of you and the bois, and played both of Mickey's CDs, that I have, and even showed him the idolo.com site. He wasn't really that familiar with Mickey, but really liked his music, and his photo, JT's, too. I don't think he ever caught the Spencer connection - and I didn't think it was too necessary to call attention to it. You had him the first moment you met. I'm really not sure, what his "type" is, but he is into guys, not girls, and I'm thinking he is into older, rather than younger. But, definitely, "our" type - if there IS such a thing. I was having major fantasies about that - both pros and cons, what can I tell ya!
He was a callboy for the parents' escort service, and he has worked on the "business" end of it, now, for the most part, and most recently, as far as his involvement. He has been sent as an "enforcer" and "collector" in this very building, as well as other buildings, right here on the "strip".
Oh, and his mother is actually a Koch (?) - pronounced "Cook" - a prominent banking family, back in Princeton, IN - and she married into the husband's escort service - essentially. It is all hush, hush, in her family, and I think she is the "rebel" only child.
From what I gathered, Joe is being taught to make his own way in life, to "grow UP". And if he lives thru this, I think he will not be wanting for too much, the rest of his life. Meaning, he stands a good chance of being very well provided for. He is taking all this, WAY too well, for it to be anything, other. In my opinion, anyhoo.
In the meantime I'm watching and learning from this amazing creature. What a story THIS has been! I want it to have a happy ending, definitely. (Heard him on the phone, last night, telling everyone about the "GREAT" people he had met that day.) "GOOD" people, in other words. I just broke into a big ole smile, out in the kitchen, hearing him talking about us.
Honestly, I think that is a "first", hearing that being a major topic of conversation, from someone who's just described the past 48 hours from the eyes of a derelict. I had tears welling up in these steady eyes, witnessing him from inside the window of the coffeshop, last night. I gotta tell you, the image of him, under the weight of this crazy world, seared a hole right thru me. On the other end of the spectrum, I look at a guy, like the Mayor's boi, and I just want to smack him up side of the head. I'd never admit that, tho. Joe and I, both picked up some degree of attitude from the Mayor, yesterday, upon hearing the details of his story. I explained, later, last night, that the mayor has been behind an executive desk, virtually his entire adult life, and was just not accustomed to these kinds of things. I doubt he'd ever HEARD a story even CLOSE to Joe's, EVER.
But, further, explained that he is watching and learning, with an open mind - not just judging, as it may, at first seem. I am very proud of our mayor, and it puts another big "ole" smile on this face, to be able to say that. Well, speaking of which, I have exactly 20 mins. to get to BT [Panera on Diversey] to meet them. Zoomin' Will get to a phone, this day! YES! - Bear huggggggs - SMOOCH!
Steveman MSM!"
Enter JuniorSubject: Re: Thank you, thank you, thank youX10000!
To: gspencer
Morning Cums Early, Guvner, SIR!
" . . .Your are THE ARCHANGEL! . . . Joe [Junior] just left - I have PICtures! Joe got himSELF up at 7:30 - no alarm - we got him fitted with some nice clothes, out of the Mac summerstock wardrobe. Last night, he remembered he had court, this am - (something he said they will "throw out") - and he remembered, as he was trying to call his parents - so knowing how he is with remembering dates, it seemed legit. I'm meeting him at 11am at BT Central, and I'm going to try to talk to the building mgr (the highrise, above Panera) - to try and get some of his things. He was 100% sober, and laughing, this am, he is so "touched" by what you did for him, and what we did, sure, last night, he was just glowing. (I gave him $20 and some singles to get downtown.)
I'm sending him over to some of the moving companies, after lunch, and he is GETTING a job, or going back to the slimepits, no ifs, ands, or butts! Personally, I think he has a much better chance of getting his act together, if he stays away from those people, back home. From what I've heard, they're basically bad news. He was doing fine, until he got
mixed up with that crack head - something he doesn't even do. He was really doing some soul searching, about the drinking, and the dope - don't really think he will totally quit, but, he seems to understand how it has f-d him up.
We stayed up talking for hours and hours. I finally got him to lay back in my arms, and gave him a mac-massage - then he just melted, and we went to bed - did some JO stuff, and talked for at least another hour, allthewhile, fooling around - frontal wise, that is. That's it. Neither came. I think it was just the best, that he wanted to get naked, get loved, and really, just talk. (I have been "wet" since lunch, yesterday, needless to say. YOUCH!) I told him I wouldn't post his pics, but I fully intend to get his permission today, to email them to you, his "angel"! He really wants you to help him write his book, he mentioned that several times, after we left.
I showed him some pics of you and the bois, and played both of Mickey's CDs, that I have, and even showed him the idolo.com site. He wasn't really that familiar with Mickey, but really liked his music, and his photo, JT's, too. I don't think he ever caught the Spencer connection - and I didn't think it was too necessary to call attention to it. You had him the first moment you met. I'm really not sure, what his "type" is, but he is into guys, not girls, and I'm thinking he is into older, rather than younger. But, definitely, "our" type - if there IS such a thing. I was having major fantasies about that - both pros and cons, what can I tell ya!
He was a callboy for the parents' escort service, and he has worked on the "business" end of it, now, for the most part, and most recently, as far as his involvement. He has been sent as an "enforcer" and "collector" in this very building, as well as other buildings, right here on the "strip".
Oh, and his mother is actually a Koch (?) - pronounced "Cook" - a prominent banking family, back in Princeton, IN - and she married into the husband's escort service - essentially. It is all hush, hush, in her family, and I think she is the "rebel" only child.
From what I gathered, Joe is being taught to make his own way in life, to "grow UP". And if he lives thru this, I think he will not be wanting for too much, the rest of his life. Meaning, he stands a good chance of being very well provided for. He is taking all this, WAY too well, for it to be anything, other. In my opinion, anyhoo.
In the meantime I'm watching and learning from this amazing creature. What a story THIS has been! I want it to have a happy ending, definitely. (Heard him on the phone, last night, telling everyone about the "GREAT" people he had met that day.) "GOOD" people, in other words. I just broke into a big ole smile, out in the kitchen, hearing him talking about us.
Honestly, I think that is a "first", hearing that being a major topic of conversation, from someone who's just described the past 48 hours from the eyes of a derelict. I had tears welling up in these steady eyes, witnessing him from inside the window of the coffeshop, last night. I gotta tell you, the image of him, under the weight of this crazy world, seared a hole right thru me. On the other end of the spectrum, I look at a guy, like the Mayor's boi, and I just want to smack him up side of the head. I'd never admit that, tho. Joe and I, both picked up some degree of attitude from the Mayor, yesterday, upon hearing the details of his story. I explained, later, last night, that the mayor has been behind an executive desk, virtually his entire adult life, and was just not accustomed to these kinds of things. I doubt he'd ever HEARD a story even CLOSE to Joe's, EVER.
But, further, explained that he is watching and learning, with an open mind - not just judging, as it may, at first seem. I am very proud of our mayor, and it puts another big "ole" smile on this face, to be able to say that. Well, speaking of which, I have exactly 20 mins. to get to BT [Panera on Diversey] to meet them. Zoomin' Will get to a phone, this day! YES! - Bear huggggggs - SMOOCH!
Steveman MSM!"
Monday, July 01, 2002
Mon. July 1, 2002
(The July Monologues - Begin)
Letter To Spencer
Subject: Meanwhile, back in AMERICA!
" . . .Morning of Noteworthy Notes, (Guvner, SIR!) Yes, it was one of those evenings we'll remember, and look back on and cherish! It was just one of those gloriously, spontaneous times, that seem to illuminate the memory like a floodlamp! We were both just enjoying life, so much! Those (these) are the times that you wait an entire lifetime for. Just to have the freedom to take off some evening - not HAVING to be anywhere, or DO anything - take a walk - without your socks - pull up a chair at a local "cafe" and the company you are with just "shines", (I was so "into" our conversation, I didn't even remember there "being" anyone else around, except for "Forgotten in America Girl."
I enjoyed my time with you, in fact, it (time) pretty much "stood still" - and that is pretty much the biggest "KICK" in the seat of the pants to TIME, there can ever be, yes? It makes this wolf absolutely HOWL with laughter! AAAOOOOWWWW!
Some wish to take a bite out of crime, I LIVE to take a bite out of TIME! NOOO STOPPIT!
I think I just added 5 years to my life span, from that! So, my compliments to you, for accomplishing that superb time-warp! You are just the best! "Let's Dooo - the TIME Warp - aGAIN!" - (RHPS). . ."
" . . . Gathering my art materials, to head out to BT Central, [Panera on Diversey] before the crowds hit. Zoomin' with energy, today - and my hands are not shaking - so I am going to have a finished sketch, by day's end, it appears! I am so excited, this heart has a big ole smile, to match the one on this scruffy face! Will try to make it up to Swiller's, at 5:30 - German will be so glad to have saved my glasses! Will be starving, by then, too! Can't wait to show you a sketch.
Well, better kick it into high gear, or I'll never get outta here. (I have saved at least a couple hours not having MacStryper work, this am!) It was the right decision! NICE! - Zoomin' Steveman MSM - over and out! See you in a little bit, HONEEEY! Bye! . . ."
(The July Monologues - Begin)
Letter To Spencer
Subject: Meanwhile, back in AMERICA!
" . . .Morning of Noteworthy Notes, (Guvner, SIR!) Yes, it was one of those evenings we'll remember, and look back on and cherish! It was just one of those gloriously, spontaneous times, that seem to illuminate the memory like a floodlamp! We were both just enjoying life, so much! Those (these) are the times that you wait an entire lifetime for. Just to have the freedom to take off some evening - not HAVING to be anywhere, or DO anything - take a walk - without your socks - pull up a chair at a local "cafe" and the company you are with just "shines", (I was so "into" our conversation, I didn't even remember there "being" anyone else around, except for "Forgotten in America Girl."
I enjoyed my time with you, in fact, it (time) pretty much "stood still" - and that is pretty much the biggest "KICK" in the seat of the pants to TIME, there can ever be, yes? It makes this wolf absolutely HOWL with laughter! AAAOOOOWWWW!
Some wish to take a bite out of crime, I LIVE to take a bite out of TIME! NOOO STOPPIT!
I think I just added 5 years to my life span, from that! So, my compliments to you, for accomplishing that superb time-warp! You are just the best! "Let's Dooo - the TIME Warp - aGAIN!" - (RHPS). . ."
" . . . Gathering my art materials, to head out to BT Central, [Panera on Diversey] before the crowds hit. Zoomin' with energy, today - and my hands are not shaking - so I am going to have a finished sketch, by day's end, it appears! I am so excited, this heart has a big ole smile, to match the one on this scruffy face! Will try to make it up to Swiller's, at 5:30 - German will be so glad to have saved my glasses! Will be starving, by then, too! Can't wait to show you a sketch.
Well, better kick it into high gear, or I'll never get outta here. (I have saved at least a couple hours not having MacStryper work, this am!) It was the right decision! NICE! - Zoomin' Steveman MSM - over and out! See you in a little bit, HONEEEY! Bye! . . ."
Saturday, June 15, 2002
Sat, June 15, 2002
[Spencer's Dream + Comments on my previous dream]
". . . sleep and vague recognizable dreams.
Hey My MacMan, My Steve MacSteel, My Steely Man! Awake not too late last night, broken sleep, awake too early.
I do have some vaguely recognizable dreams. Nice pleasant outings with nice people, you among them, a happy shining
MacManMio (M3) visiting me in my sleep with friends and family. Outings to outdoor restaurants in the tropic, lush landscapes with walks, drinks, meals, discussions, outdoor torch light on pitch black nights with palm fronds waving in a light breeze the sound of surf always around the corner. M3 always telling me to leave when something bad is about to occur. Nothing bad ever does occur because I am always out of there before it happens. Should the dreams be memorable? JT is in the setting with us, so is Amr and Nathan and a host of other handsome lads accompanying M3 and Spencer. . . ."
". . . More dreams of dark tropical settings (MacManMio/Chihuly influenced perhaps?) breezes, tropical formal attire, the feeling was there, the warmth and humidity of a tropical night, the ocean in the air. Being seated at a table for 4 by MyMacMan, 2 young fellows with extraordinary tans and shining faces waiting for us to
sit.
Your dreams! Angels protecting M3 or is M3 the angel protecting everyone else? Suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, taking them on himself as a shield for others?
MyMacMan protecting his Guvner and the characters that occupy Standerton?
Helping to protect his mind while deliberately, possibly foolishly, wandering in the realm of the dark lord? Doing the same for the Mayor? M3 wanting to do that for Dave who's been marked to mask something inside of him that M3 knows shines like the sun off of a still pond of deep pure waters? What are you taking whacks for? M3 one of God's captains of legions?
Trip to Peru, the birthplace and early years of JT, his mom hiding him from what she thinks is the uncaring Spencer. Peru, also with untold and unsuspected horrors from the past: Did you know where Lucifer's legions vacationed when the Christ child made his appearance in the mid-east? Where they returned with a vengeance on the retreat of the lord of light and his subsequent appearance in the Americas?
M3 wanting to visit the mountain playgrounds of the ones with broken, bent, dark leathery wings. The place where they played with those of the city of gold. The gold is the color of their skin, the skin of the ones they tormented and tortured, streams of fallen angels born into the bodies of beautiful Peruvians wreaking havoc across their own lands and peoples across the Americas.
Go for it! If you can, do it! Sounds marvellous, gaze on the embalmed bodies which once carried the scarred and burned spirits of Lucifer's legions. Some of them, I am sure, warred against Amset and Michael in the skies over the northern territory. Do it for the holidays, it couldn't be more appropriate. . ."
[Spencer's Dream + Comments on my previous dream]
". . . sleep and vague recognizable dreams.
Hey My MacMan, My Steve MacSteel, My Steely Man! Awake not too late last night, broken sleep, awake too early.
I do have some vaguely recognizable dreams. Nice pleasant outings with nice people, you among them, a happy shining
MacManMio (M3) visiting me in my sleep with friends and family. Outings to outdoor restaurants in the tropic, lush landscapes with walks, drinks, meals, discussions, outdoor torch light on pitch black nights with palm fronds waving in a light breeze the sound of surf always around the corner. M3 always telling me to leave when something bad is about to occur. Nothing bad ever does occur because I am always out of there before it happens. Should the dreams be memorable? JT is in the setting with us, so is Amr and Nathan and a host of other handsome lads accompanying M3 and Spencer. . . ."
". . . More dreams of dark tropical settings (MacManMio/Chihuly influenced perhaps?) breezes, tropical formal attire, the feeling was there, the warmth and humidity of a tropical night, the ocean in the air. Being seated at a table for 4 by MyMacMan, 2 young fellows with extraordinary tans and shining faces waiting for us to
sit.
Your dreams! Angels protecting M3 or is M3 the angel protecting everyone else? Suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, taking them on himself as a shield for others?
MyMacMan protecting his Guvner and the characters that occupy Standerton?
Helping to protect his mind while deliberately, possibly foolishly, wandering in the realm of the dark lord? Doing the same for the Mayor? M3 wanting to do that for Dave who's been marked to mask something inside of him that M3 knows shines like the sun off of a still pond of deep pure waters? What are you taking whacks for? M3 one of God's captains of legions?
Trip to Peru, the birthplace and early years of JT, his mom hiding him from what she thinks is the uncaring Spencer. Peru, also with untold and unsuspected horrors from the past: Did you know where Lucifer's legions vacationed when the Christ child made his appearance in the mid-east? Where they returned with a vengeance on the retreat of the lord of light and his subsequent appearance in the Americas?
M3 wanting to visit the mountain playgrounds of the ones with broken, bent, dark leathery wings. The place where they played with those of the city of gold. The gold is the color of their skin, the skin of the ones they tormented and tortured, streams of fallen angels born into the bodies of beautiful Peruvians wreaking havoc across their own lands and peoples across the Americas.
Go for it! If you can, do it! Sounds marvellous, gaze on the embalmed bodies which once carried the scarred and burned spirits of Lucifer's legions. Some of them, I am sure, warred against Amset and Michael in the skies over the northern territory. Do it for the holidays, it couldn't be more appropriate. . ."
Friday, June 14, 2002
Friday, June 14, 2002
[Interesting Letter from Spencer]
His name is Richard. [Spencer's Titan Contractor at the USRRB] - Men with the name Richard are heartbreakers for Spencer. The fellow who sutured my knees when I was a lad of 16 and visited me at home. His DA greased hair, his black leather jacket, his tight levis, his Canoe cologne, his silky long straight black chest and belly hair, long long legs - yikes. My heart is pounding just remembering that. Fuck!
I fit under his arm like I was born to be there. Another Richard, heart throb, and yet another. Oh, oh, not another! King Richards all. We have an ancestor that was one of the Barons witnessing the Magna Carta, yes, maybe some connection deep deep within.
[Interesting Letter from Spencer]
His name is Richard. [Spencer's Titan Contractor at the USRRB] - Men with the name Richard are heartbreakers for Spencer. The fellow who sutured my knees when I was a lad of 16 and visited me at home. His DA greased hair, his black leather jacket, his tight levis, his Canoe cologne, his silky long straight black chest and belly hair, long long legs - yikes. My heart is pounding just remembering that. Fuck!
I fit under his arm like I was born to be there. Another Richard, heart throb, and yet another. Oh, oh, not another! King Richards all. We have an ancestor that was one of the Barons witnessing the Magna Carta, yes, maybe some connection deep deep within.
Thursday, June 13, 2002
Thursday, June 13, 2002
[interesting suprise end to the day]
". . . A wonderful surprise, riding home, last night - stopped at Oak Street Beach for what I believe were the first fireworks display of the season - coming off Navy Pier! Don't think there was a special occasion. Wonderful display. Many people were sitting on the rocks - I hummed the Star-Spangled Banner - (luv that tune) while the white-capped waves crashed (well, more banged) onto the shore! What a great climax to the day! Eh? . . . "
[interesting suprise end to the day]
". . . A wonderful surprise, riding home, last night - stopped at Oak Street Beach for what I believe were the first fireworks display of the season - coming off Navy Pier! Don't think there was a special occasion. Wonderful display. Many people were sitting on the rocks - I hummed the Star-Spangled Banner - (luv that tune) while the white-capped waves crashed (well, more banged) onto the shore! What a great climax to the day! Eh? . . . "
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Had a fairly decent workout at gym, today. Yelled at the Manager for allowing raw sewage to be tracked all thru the locker room - careless workers rodded a drain - and then just walked out, tracking it all over, - leaving it an unspeakable mess! My friend William shouted - "Give em Hell, Steel!" as I left to flag down Bally's Finest. Bally-hooing, if you will! Humpff! Stopped by Sherwin's again - this time fresh Juice makin's! Yummy - Youth Tonic. Just finished my first glass - of the new batch! Carrots, Beets, Celery, Spinach, and Red Delicious Apples - all organic. A $16 cure for aging! Writing my Guvner, listening to Rimsky-Korsakov's - "Shaharazade" in the background on WFMT. Intended to work on updating my resume. Will put it on the Steve Rhodes website I've neglected and forgotten about! Links to all my fabulous websites (non-porn, but still fabulous!) Hope to get a Web-job, although there is only one lead, at this writing. And that is just a WEB Editor. That is also what I'd like to teach, if I had to choose a field. And there should be SOME need for that, I am sure. I don't think I will be teaching music, although, I may need to re-think that. It is not an easy job, but it is, logically, still a possibility.
Mayor should be safely in London, and is booked, solid, every night of his 17 -day stay! Meeting his jet-set, globe-hopping friend Trudy, there, tonight, I believe. Overheard his phone conversation, jubilantly exclaiming his plans, yesterday, back at the Penthouse! He blurted out that he is 55, yesterday, (after at least two bottles of Pino Grigio) much to my protests, as to not wanting to know. So, I guess he is happy and enjoying early retirement. "
Had a fairly decent workout at gym, today. Yelled at the Manager for allowing raw sewage to be tracked all thru the locker room - careless workers rodded a drain - and then just walked out, tracking it all over, - leaving it an unspeakable mess! My friend William shouted - "Give em Hell, Steel!" as I left to flag down Bally's Finest. Bally-hooing, if you will! Humpff! Stopped by Sherwin's again - this time fresh Juice makin's! Yummy - Youth Tonic. Just finished my first glass - of the new batch! Carrots, Beets, Celery, Spinach, and Red Delicious Apples - all organic. A $16 cure for aging! Writing my Guvner, listening to Rimsky-Korsakov's - "Shaharazade" in the background on WFMT. Intended to work on updating my resume. Will put it on the Steve Rhodes website I've neglected and forgotten about! Links to all my fabulous websites (non-porn, but still fabulous!) Hope to get a Web-job, although there is only one lead, at this writing. And that is just a WEB Editor. That is also what I'd like to teach, if I had to choose a field. And there should be SOME need for that, I am sure. I don't think I will be teaching music, although, I may need to re-think that. It is not an easy job, but it is, logically, still a possibility.
Mayor should be safely in London, and is booked, solid, every night of his 17 -day stay! Meeting his jet-set, globe-hopping friend Trudy, there, tonight, I believe. Overheard his phone conversation, jubilantly exclaiming his plans, yesterday, back at the Penthouse! He blurted out that he is 55, yesterday, (after at least two bottles of Pino Grigio) much to my protests, as to not wanting to know. So, I guess he is happy and enjoying early retirement. "
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
[More on Judy Carmichael]
Judy Carmichael had some interesting words to say about teaching and performing, last nite! I have always toyed with the idea of working up a program to take around to the schools and the Park Districts. Have had zero help and inspiration, making it come to
fruition, tho. Energy and attitude are not there, after the day is done. She seems to have an abundant supply of both! Gave her a sweet kiss on the hand, for all the inspiration she bestowed on me! Really wanted to meet her, and thank her, but she kind of disappeared, after Steinway bitch and Director Dike stole the floor, after the performance. Drat! I was
in a band with a girl who kinda reminded me of Judy.
Drat! I was in a band with a girl who kinda reminded me of Judy. We haven't stayed in touch, but I think she just wanted to marry her beau, and settle down and have kids. Lived up in Crystal Lake.
She was actually our "Respond" Lady. (The company that supplied and stocked all our medical cabinets at USG). We just hit it off, from day one, and I ended up joining her Blues group and worked with them for about 6 mos., before they kept cancelling our performances, cuz they never seemed to be "ready!" We were really pretty good, too, I thought! She performed with Steve Arvey at Dick's Last Resort at North Pier, sometimes. (He was our guitarist, btw - Stunningly cute Jewish Cub)!
[More on Judy Carmichael]
Judy Carmichael had some interesting words to say about teaching and performing, last nite! I have always toyed with the idea of working up a program to take around to the schools and the Park Districts. Have had zero help and inspiration, making it come to
fruition, tho. Energy and attitude are not there, after the day is done. She seems to have an abundant supply of both! Gave her a sweet kiss on the hand, for all the inspiration she bestowed on me! Really wanted to meet her, and thank her, but she kind of disappeared, after Steinway bitch and Director Dike stole the floor, after the performance. Drat! I was
in a band with a girl who kinda reminded me of Judy.
Drat! I was in a band with a girl who kinda reminded me of Judy. We haven't stayed in touch, but I think she just wanted to marry her beau, and settle down and have kids. Lived up in Crystal Lake.
She was actually our "Respond" Lady. (The company that supplied and stocked all our medical cabinets at USG). We just hit it off, from day one, and I ended up joining her Blues group and worked with them for about 6 mos., before they kept cancelling our performances, cuz they never seemed to be "ready!" We were really pretty good, too, I thought! She performed with Steve Arvey at Dick's Last Resort at North Pier, sometimes. (He was our guitarist, btw - Stunningly cute Jewish Cub)!
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Some weird dreams last nite:
- of college dorms and Thanksgiving Dinner with turkey heads in the bowl! YIIIIKES! Must have been the parking ticket that tried to spoil my fun! Sounds like a bad movie! Another msg. from mother on machine, this am. She said she had a feeling I was not doing well, and has been concerned. She is the most caring mother, love her so much. This world will definitely not be the same place, without her.
Some weird dreams last nite:
- of college dorms and Thanksgiving Dinner with turkey heads in the bowl! YIIIIKES! Must have been the parking ticket that tried to spoil my fun! Sounds like a bad movie! Another msg. from mother on machine, this am. She said she had a feeling I was not doing well, and has been concerned. She is the most caring mother, love her so much. This world will definitely not be the same place, without her.
Sunday, June 09, 2002
Sunday, June 9, 2002
[email to Spencer, inre: Mayor's trip to London]
" . . . Mayor leaves for London Monday. Wants a goodbye fist, before he takes off. WooFFs! Did I say that? Sent a real nice email when he got back from the U of M fundraiser, Thurs. nite. His x-wifey is still the Director of Foreigh Affairs, there. Said he wore his most expensive duds, and waxed to the max for the affair! Had drinks with the party bois, at the mixer, afterwards. Found an interesting Lebansese boi toi- I'm sure they found SOMEthing to talk about! New Jersey Real estate! Ha! . . ."
[email to Spencer, inre: Mayor's trip to London]
" . . . Mayor leaves for London Monday. Wants a goodbye fist, before he takes off. WooFFs! Did I say that? Sent a real nice email when he got back from the U of M fundraiser, Thurs. nite. His x-wifey is still the Director of Foreigh Affairs, there. Said he wore his most expensive duds, and waxed to the max for the affair! Had drinks with the party bois, at the mixer, afterwards. Found an interesting Lebansese boi toi- I'm sure they found SOMEthing to talk about! New Jersey Real estate! Ha! . . ."
Sunday, June 9, 2002
[Re: The fire in the hair dream, from yesterday]
I just did a quick search in the dream dictionary and found the following:
. . . "Hair is highly valued by most cultures. It is a symbol of vanity, security, sensuality, sexual appeal, and of youth. In some cultures women are not allowed to show their hair outside their homes. Wealthy men go through painful surgery and spend thousands of dollars to replace lost hair follicles. Needless to say, hair is a valuable dream symbol. It represents physical and spiritual strength. Samson's hair was the source of his strength and virility. In our dreams hair can represent our thoughts, knowledge, and reasoning. White or gray hair represents age and wisdom while body hair may symbolize protection and warmth. When interpreting this dream make attempts to identify a primary issue and connect it to a situation in your daily life. . ."
. . . "Fire
This is a very complex symbol that can have both negative and positive connotations. When interpreting this dream, you need to consider all of its details and your emotional responses in the dream. Fire can be a deeply spiritual symbol representing transformation and enlightenment. On the other hand, it could represent danger, anger, passion, pain or fear. Is the fire in your dream destroying something or simply warming you? Are you currently engaging in negative behaviors or are knowingly making wrong (or destructive) choices? (Yeah, my winning career path, and I use the term, lightly! ) Your unconscious mind may be warning you and at the same time encouraging you to alter those things in your life which may be hurtful and dangerous. . . "
Well, if THAT isn't a warning sign!!!!
[Re: The fire in the hair dream, from yesterday]
I just did a quick search in the dream dictionary and found the following:
. . . "Hair is highly valued by most cultures. It is a symbol of vanity, security, sensuality, sexual appeal, and of youth. In some cultures women are not allowed to show their hair outside their homes. Wealthy men go through painful surgery and spend thousands of dollars to replace lost hair follicles. Needless to say, hair is a valuable dream symbol. It represents physical and spiritual strength. Samson's hair was the source of his strength and virility. In our dreams hair can represent our thoughts, knowledge, and reasoning. White or gray hair represents age and wisdom while body hair may symbolize protection and warmth. When interpreting this dream make attempts to identify a primary issue and connect it to a situation in your daily life. . ."
. . . "Fire
This is a very complex symbol that can have both negative and positive connotations. When interpreting this dream, you need to consider all of its details and your emotional responses in the dream. Fire can be a deeply spiritual symbol representing transformation and enlightenment. On the other hand, it could represent danger, anger, passion, pain or fear. Is the fire in your dream destroying something or simply warming you? Are you currently engaging in negative behaviors or are knowingly making wrong (or destructive) choices? (Yeah, my winning career path, and I use the term, lightly! ) Your unconscious mind may be warning you and at the same time encouraging you to alter those things in your life which may be hurtful and dangerous. . . "
Well, if THAT isn't a warning sign!!!!
Sunday, June 9, 2002
[Re: Response about school tuition cuts]
Spencer: ". . . Anixter moves, sucks, moves further from the city, moving out of business sale, don't like those things. Leaving Northwestern, the place that makes your eyes twinkle, not a good feeling in my heart over that. . . "
" . . . Email to Judy, so cool its hot. Nice of you to do that. . . "
[Re: Response about school tuition cuts]
Spencer: ". . . Anixter moves, sucks, moves further from the city, moving out of business sale, don't like those things. Leaving Northwestern, the place that makes your eyes twinkle, not a good feeling in my heart over that. . . "
" . . . Email to Judy, so cool its hot. Nice of you to do that. . . "
Saturday, June 08, 2002
June 2002 (Approximate) Dream: Amilla Coriallis
---------
- Marine girl talking into her headset, heading out to fight the terrorists: "This is Amilla Coriallis"
- I had been working in the field. Suddenly everyone turned against me (as in Belinda just getting mad at me for no reason.)
- My mom and dad abandoned me - emotionally - my dad took my truck and mom locked me out of the house.
- Next, I was standing in a meeting in Vandalia (next town, to where I grew up in St. Elmo, Ill), and although I needed to be there, I had no way home, but I knew I'd figure it out.
- I kept pressing on with the detailed work on my mission at a meeting.
- I then started to look around, noticing who was there.
- Theresa Dothager was there (from St. Elmo). I asked her for a ride home. She tried to act "smooth" - she didn't just say "yes" the first time. - then she said "yes" the second time.
- I told her she was supposed to say "yes" - not until the 3rd time - it was "protocol".
- She gathered her things, one of which was her wedding gown with a long, shimmering "train", helped by an assistant.
- As we were leaving, somehow we got diverted.
- She went on the upper road - I on the lower. She left.
- I was suddenly standing on the ramp of a very confusing highway, all alone. Almost 20 miles from home - no truck - in the cold - I would not be able to make it.
- Then, I hear a voice - it was either Michael Laridon or Larry Guttman calling to be with me. I couldn't make it out. It was Michael's voice - but Larry was his actual "self".
- We made plans for the next day. He was coming over. He arrived - told me his health was not so great. Some flair-up of an old condition - HYPA-Glaucemic.
- As we were walking out of the highway viaduct entrance ramp - there was a terrorist with a white shotgun - trying to aim for him. He was "leading" several people out into an awaiting rescure chopper.
- Everyone was going out past the line of fire, to get in.
- As soon as they were all in - I was the last one out. I always stay till last ?? for some reason.
- Just as I was about to go out - (and I wasn't worried about being "hit" - I was too "fast" - I'd be okay.
- Just then, another terrorist was spotted . . . this one with a sub-machine-gun.
- He was mowing down any and everything. I went back down the ramp - to check for something - and to get away - out of the open - I knew he would get me if I didn't get out of sight.
- When I went down the ramp, there was a guard's station. (This was all down in a sublevel of a street or expressway, or something.)
- I just mentioned what I was doing down there - and they had just gotten the call - as if over an army radio.
- I was describing the scene above - detailing the gunmen - immediately- the marine special forces were, or National Guard were assembling - preparing for a counter-strike.
- They were getting their weapons and ammo belts on, and moving out - I knew I was totally protected - they were organized and outnumbered, outsmarted, outpowered the single terrorist shooting from behind enemy lines. (A crate).
- As I walked back up the ramp, a young female soldier was talking into a radio headset device saying . . . "This is Amilla Coriallis, signing off." She was armed with a submachine gun.
- There were dozens more - positioning and "moving out" into battle.
- I knew it would be "Okay."
-----------
Note: Waking up, my Puss puss was at the foot of my bed, as if watching the whole thing!
---------
- Marine girl talking into her headset, heading out to fight the terrorists: "This is Amilla Coriallis"
- I had been working in the field. Suddenly everyone turned against me (as in Belinda just getting mad at me for no reason.)
- My mom and dad abandoned me - emotionally - my dad took my truck and mom locked me out of the house.
- Next, I was standing in a meeting in Vandalia (next town, to where I grew up in St. Elmo, Ill), and although I needed to be there, I had no way home, but I knew I'd figure it out.
- I kept pressing on with the detailed work on my mission at a meeting.
- I then started to look around, noticing who was there.
- Theresa Dothager was there (from St. Elmo). I asked her for a ride home. She tried to act "smooth" - she didn't just say "yes" the first time. - then she said "yes" the second time.
- I told her she was supposed to say "yes" - not until the 3rd time - it was "protocol".
- She gathered her things, one of which was her wedding gown with a long, shimmering "train", helped by an assistant.
- As we were leaving, somehow we got diverted.
- She went on the upper road - I on the lower. She left.
- I was suddenly standing on the ramp of a very confusing highway, all alone. Almost 20 miles from home - no truck - in the cold - I would not be able to make it.
- Then, I hear a voice - it was either Michael Laridon or Larry Guttman calling to be with me. I couldn't make it out. It was Michael's voice - but Larry was his actual "self".
- We made plans for the next day. He was coming over. He arrived - told me his health was not so great. Some flair-up of an old condition - HYPA-Glaucemic.
- As we were walking out of the highway viaduct entrance ramp - there was a terrorist with a white shotgun - trying to aim for him. He was "leading" several people out into an awaiting rescure chopper.
- Everyone was going out past the line of fire, to get in.
- As soon as they were all in - I was the last one out. I always stay till last ?? for some reason.
- Just as I was about to go out - (and I wasn't worried about being "hit" - I was too "fast" - I'd be okay.
- Just then, another terrorist was spotted . . . this one with a sub-machine-gun.
- He was mowing down any and everything. I went back down the ramp - to check for something - and to get away - out of the open - I knew he would get me if I didn't get out of sight.
- When I went down the ramp, there was a guard's station. (This was all down in a sublevel of a street or expressway, or something.)
- I just mentioned what I was doing down there - and they had just gotten the call - as if over an army radio.
- I was describing the scene above - detailing the gunmen - immediately- the marine special forces were, or National Guard were assembling - preparing for a counter-strike.
- They were getting their weapons and ammo belts on, and moving out - I knew I was totally protected - they were organized and outnumbered, outsmarted, outpowered the single terrorist shooting from behind enemy lines. (A crate).
- As I walked back up the ramp, a young female soldier was talking into a radio headset device saying . . . "This is Amilla Coriallis, signing off." She was armed with a submachine gun.
- There were dozens more - positioning and "moving out" into battle.
- I knew it would be "Okay."
-----------
Note: Waking up, my Puss puss was at the foot of my bed, as if watching the whole thing!
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